Innocence and Instinct
by PureEnglishRosiex
Summary: When ShinRa start experiments on the SOLDIER cadets aged under sixteen, rumours spread like wildfire. Zack, seventeen, finds it hard to believe there can be anything wrong with the experiments, at least until his best friend becomes one of them... Clack
1. Chapter I: Seperate Ways

Too old.

Well, that's a first.

Messed up how a guy of seventeen can be considered too old for something, isn't it?

I took it as a joke, at first. It wouldn't have been the first time my peers had tried to trick me. So it came as one hell of a surprise when they actually stopped me from entering the operating theatre. And they told me. Too old. Seventeen? Nope. Too late.

I don't know what the experiments do to you. All I know is they make you a better SOLDIER, a stronger, swifter fighter, all the stuff I expect the higher ups have pushed into my head, but nonetheless I still believe. I have to, really. But there's one thing I'm wary about…

My sister talked about the experiments all the time, telling me all the rumours, the horror stories she'd heard about what they turned people into. To tell you the truth, I was always kind of scared of her finding out the one secret I couldn't ever bear to tell her. She spent all her time slagging off SOLDIER and anyone who worked for them… Tifa hated ShinRa since she was tiny. I don't think even she knew why… Maybe she just had a strong sense of justice, something none of the rest of us had, especially me. Because even though I knew it would break her heart, I thought I could get away with lying to her. I joined the organisation she hated so much, behind her back. It didn't take long for her to start to get suspicious, especially when I stood up for the SOLDIERs sometimes. I could take her making jabs at what I was, because I wasn't exactly happy with myself anyway, but whenever she picked on the other members, especially after the experiment came into full swing… I had to answer back. I just couldn't stand by and let her talk about my friends, my comrades, like she used to.

What kind of experiments only work on kids? Because that's all they are, really, isn't it? Under sixteen. Children. As I passed them, all heading into the operating room with barely concealed nerves plain on their faces, I realised; even though I was only a year older than the majority of them, I felt much further away. That's just how SOLDIER works, how they rank us.

A glimpse of gold inside the throng of boys broke me out of my reverie, and despite everything I felt my face break into a grin as I watched him struggle his way out of the lingering crowd. The golden hair fell into his eyes as he pushed his way clear of the others, heading towards me.

Cloud.

My smile faded when he looked up at me, and I saw the mingling fear and disappointment in his eyes. Poor kid. I'd only known Cloud a year or so, but something had just clicked when we met, and becoming friends was no effort for us. It helped, of course, that we'd first met when he saved my ass on his first proper mission; most people found it funny, the very idea of a guy who hadn't even made SOLDIER properly saving the hide of a second class. I took a lot of stick for that one. In the end, though, Cloud stuck with me and stuck UP for me, telling everyone the monsters around at the time were out of control, and I'd been in the middle of a bunch of them when one got me from behind… We had a lot more missions together, and the day he finally made it into SOLDIER is still clear as yesterday. It's been practically eight months now, and I've never seen him look so happy as he did when he made 3rd class. Good memories, from all the way back then. We'd gone through a hell of a lot together, and we'd both thought that the new experiments were going to be another milestone we'd face together…

Funny the way things turned out. Me being too old. I don't think either of us even thought of that being a possibility.

"Zack…" He took a deep breath, still looking up at me, then his gaze dropped to the floor. His dejection, the way he portrayed it… made me think about him. He was more a kid than any of the others, barely looked his fifteen years. Especially while he was downhearted about something…

All I could tell him was that I was sorry. That was all.

Crap friend I make. I just felt too awkward to talk much, when he was clearly in a bit of a state, even though he was trying desperately to hide it.

Someone called his name, and we both jumped.

Cloud glanced up at me, one last time, his azure eyes wide, face blanched of what little colour he usually had.

"My turn." He said, quietly, then flinched as I reached out to grip his shoulder. Trying to be reassuring, trying to make up for the fact he was going of to have some surgeon mess up his body or his head… and I was safe. Free because of the eighteen month age gap between us.

All I could do was watch as Cloud walked off down that corridor, away from me and towards the… _experiment_.

If I'd known what it would have done to Cloud…

…would I have stopped him? Could I?


	2. Chapter II: Fairytales

"Hey, um, well, this is Cloud. Leave your message after the beep."

I swore, snapping my phone shut. I'd been getting Cloud's voicemail for days, and I was past worried- I was just getting pissed off with him.

He'd left the operation the same day, seemingly exactly the same as when he went in, and holed himself up in his room. I went over a few times, but even when his mom let me try and talk to him he ignored me, leaving his door locked and refusing to even speak to me. I knew there wasn't anything physically wrong with him, as his mom told me he'd been getting food for himself all the time- she heard him sneaking downstairs at night, every night.

Tifa sat across the table from me, looking me straight in the eye. She didn't need to speak for me to know what she wanted to know so bad; after all, if I explained why I cared so much about Cloud, the whole SOLDIER thing would trail in and… it's not even worth thinking about.

I was all she had, really. Mom wasn't around much after Dad's accident. She had to work all the time once he was gone. The only time we ever got to see her was when she dropped off the money and such for us, once a month. And it was barely a glimpse, if anything. Partly, I think it's my fault she struggled to stick around… She loved us, with all her heart, but I think it hurt too much for her to think of the part that was destroyed when Dad died; after all, I had always been like a copy of him, so alike in every way… Tifa cried a lot, when she thought I wasn't looking, hiding under her sheets and muffling her sobs with her pillow when I tried to comfort her at night.

I don't think we ever talked about it. Anything to do with Mom or Dad was just… to hard to say. So I had to look after Teef like a parent ever since, because I was older… She doesn't look her age, though, I'll give her that. Most people think we're twins, or that she's the older sibling- she looks sixteen, eighteen or nineteen if she makes an effort, but in reality she's fourteen. That's part of the reason why I joined SOLDIER, to look after her the best I could. I wanted to be able to protect her if she ever had a problem with a guy wanting, let's say, more than friendship from her. I'd always been a good fighter, as had Tifa, but when people get drunk, wasted, there's no telling how far they'll go.

I'd keep trying to get through to Cloud, no matter how long it took, and even if I had to break his door down; I think even he realised that, after I threatened to. Nine days after his operation, I tried the door to his bedroom, and overbalanced when it swung open easily; obviously, I'd been expecting the latch to still be turned. I barely caught myself, slamming my hip hard into the metal bar around his bed as I struggled to keep my balance. I'd expected a laugh, maybe even just a smirk from Cloud at the sight of my less than stylish entrance, but nothing. Nada.

All he did was sit, unmoving, on the edge of his bed, his face in his hands. His hair stuck up around his head even more than usual, like he'd been pulling at it. Looking at him just sitting there, feeling sorry for himself, just made me angry, worse than I'd been when he'd shut me out.

"What the _hell_ do you-"

I was cut off short, before I'd even started my rant, when Cloud dropped his hands and looked up at me. My heart went out to him in an instant, the anger squashed by his nagging worry. Cloud's mom had told me he'd been eating at night, but it clearly wasn't enough- he looked like he hadn't eaten or slept properly in days. He was as pale as before he went off to the surgery, when he was just terrified, but now the fear was practically gone, just a flicker in the back of his eyes, which were underlined by the darkest circles I'd ever seen in somebody's face, who wasn't dying or incredibly ill…

It was dull in the room, dusk setting in outside the window, but Cloud didn't seem to care. If anything, he looked a little better in the dark, the damage blurred because of the gloom, even if only ever so slightly.

Neither of us spoke, just staring at each other, until Cloud broke the frozen picture, shifting around and pushing himself off the bed, leaning against the windowsill as he stared out across his hometown, still broodingly silent.

"I'm sensing some issues here…" It came out louder than I'd expected, my voice ringing around the small room. Over by the window, Cloud flinched, but didn't turn.

"…Shut up." Came his murmured reply, as his head bowed slightly, letting his forehead press against the glass. I looked down, and saw that he was trembling, his fingers shaking hard, even though he was trying to keep them relaxed at his sides.

Even though he'd told me not to, I continued, starting to walk across the space, closing the already small gap between us;

"Shouldn't you do something?" I said, quieter than before. Cloud didn't reply, staring out into the darkness, and I stood there, waiting for him to do anything, say anything to me, at all.

The car's headlights only passed over his face for a moment, but it was enough. The glimmer gave away the tear silently tracking its' way down Cloud's face, and the next breath he took sounded more like a sob. Taking a few more steps, so I was right behind him, I reached out, grasping one of his shaking hands in my own. It still trembled, and another flicker of light passing over his face showed the tear tracks, still rolling across his cheeks…

His hand gripped back at mine, leaving us standing there in the dark, fingers intertwined, like kids in some twisted kind of fairytale.


	3. Chapter III: Worried Sick

It must've been past 3am when I finally managed to make Cloud fall asleep. That made it nearly four by the time I'd reached Gongaga, drenched from a sudden storm which hit from nowhere halfway up the freeway. As much as I loved my bike, there were some advantages to travelling in a vehicle with some kind of roof… most of the time. No wind to slap at your face, no rain to soak you, no sunburn when it gets hot. Hmm.

Anyway. I let myself in as quietly as I could, wincing when the rubber soles of my boots squeaked on our floorboards. Tifa was always a beast in the mornings, and waking her up early would prove lethal in my case. As I tried to kick my boots off silently, (nearly impossible, I gotta tell you) I nearly jumped out of my skin when I glanced up from my feet and saw _her _standing in the doorway.

"Holy SHIT!" I yelled, wobbling precariously on one leg as I finally shoved my other boot off. Tifa scowled, storming forwards with her face like thunder, and stabbed an accusatory finger straight at my chest.

"_Zachary Fair._ Where have you been?!" She demanded, and when I dropped my gaze from her, unsure of how to respond, she cared to repeat herself, this time poking hard at my chest to accentuate each word.

"I was… It's personal." I managed, before she completely flipped, and, giving me no time to react, gripped hard at my right arm and cleanly threw me over her shoulder, slamming me against the wood so hard it sent stars scattering across my vision. I gasped in pain as she kicked at me, now nearly in tears;

"I was worried sick! How could you do that to me?! I thought something had happened to you, I thought you _weren't coming back!_" Her voice rose an octave, starting to sound more like a desperate screech than anything else.

It took one hell of a lot of apologising to get her to back down. After what must have been ten clear minutes of yelling at me, Tifa burst into tears and threw her arms around me, giving huge shuddering sobs as she clung onto my waist.

"Tifa, I won't do it again. I promise. I'm sorry you're upset-"

No matter how much I cried, she just kept on crying. It was really the only time in ages I'd seen her look fourteen, when she was sobbing like a tiny child. It was the only thing that made her look her age.

When I dragged her up to bed, she stayed clinging to me, making it difficult to navigate the stairs, to say the least. When, with some struggle, I managed to persuade her to go to bed, she stretched up on her tiptoes, kissing me softly on the cheek.

"I love you, Zack." She said, her voice still thick with tears, then shut the door between us.

Someone was hammering on the door.

Ow. Jesus, why was sunlight so _bright_ in the morning?

Groaning and cursing, I clambered out from around the messed up sheets and set off downstairs, idly scratching at my head with one hand. Swinging the door open, I rubbed hard at my eyes and stared blearily as the visitor slowly came into focus. Gold, sky blue, white… The colours separated, and I had to blink hard to prove to myself I wasn't seeing things.

Cloud was on my doorstep, standing awkwardly, with a slightly embarrassed smile.

"Hey, Spikey." He looked better than the last time I'd seen him, though he still didn't seem to be back to his normal health; if the smile on his face was anything to go by, he was starting to feel a little better, too.

"I'm doing alright…" He said, as a way of greeting me, trying to disguise the blush appearing in his pale cheeks. And not really succeeding.

Looking down at myself, I instantly woke up properly, like I'd been thrown in a cold shower. I was in my boxers, and nothing else. It just hadn't occurred to me I wasn't dressed as I rushed to open the door…

I felt my face burning, too, and could do nothing but pray Tifa wasn't up yet as I invited Cloud in.

I didn't explain much as to why we had to leave the second I was dressed, but Cloud didn't seem bothered enough to question it, so I left the subject be.

"It's easier, now. I can sleep, I get hungry at normal times, my head doesn't hurt like it did last night…I'm better than okay, I feel kinda good, actually, Zack. So Thanks."

Wait, what?!

"What for?!" Cloud laughed softly, shaking his head.

"Nothing really."

I carried on walking, staring off into space, just starting to wonder exactly what the scientists at ShinRa had done to Cloud… I only realised what had happened when the only footsteps were my own. Heart racing, terrified for him, I whipped around, and spotted Cloud some twenty meters away, sprawled on the tarmac of the road, unmoving.

The world froze over for a moment as I started to panic, sprinting back to where he lay and, trying to be careful, turning him over so he faced up.

He groaned slightly, still limp in my arms, and I saw, with a growing pang of sheer fear, for whatever was happening to him, that Cloud's eyes were half shut, and completely unfocused, blanked out.

I shook him, trying my best not to hurt him, but he gave me no reaction, not even the slightest flicker in his eyes to show he knew I was there.

"Cloud!" I urged, shaking him slightly harder than before, starting to feel desperate.

I guess I got how Tifa had felt when I hadn't turned up that last night…

He was still breathing. That was all that mattered.

Cloud was just faint, must have been one of the side effects to the experiment…

…right?


	4. Chapter IV: Suffer In Silence

I glanced around desperately, looking for somebody, _anybody_ who might be able to lend a hand, but to my dismay the street was totally deserted.

"Unghh… Z…." the groan barely escaped Cloud's lips as his eyelids twitched, a tiny flicker of movement that, had I blinked, I would have missed.

"It's alright, Cloud, I'll get you-" I broke off, grunting with effort as, arms round his skinny waist, I struggled to my feet, pulling his dead weight up with me, then, standing clinging onto him, a little awkward, finished, "-get you to a doctor."

He didn't respond, limbs dangling, his head completely limp against my shoulder, like a human sized rag doll, or something like that… I swung him around, pulling him onto my back the best I could, in an attempt to carry him properly. My shoulders ached with the strain; Cloud may have been shorter than me, and had a slighter build, but he was by no means a light burden. He must have weighed one hell of a lot more than I expected him to, that was for sure.

It was only after I'd stumbled halfway down the road, trying not to let him slide down my back even though it meant I was practically bent double, like some freakish crab or hermit…

It was only after I'd got that far the weight on my back shifted, forwards instead of backwards, which at first left me more than a little confused, disorientated from walking with my head practically pressed against my knees… Then I nearly jumped right out of my skin when the arms, so much like a child's, slid around my neck, trying to hold on, trying to help.

"…Zack," Cloud sighed, his breath cold, tingling on the back of my neck, and, because he was leaning forwards rather than back, I was able to straighten up a little. Still struggling, though less than before, I reached up with one hand, and gripped hard at the pale wrist slung around my neck, holding on, even as I felt him slip back into unconsciousness, even when his body started to fall back, naturally…

I held on, talking even though I was sure he couldn't hear me, just so I had something to do, and didn't have to suffer along in silence,

"Cloud, I'll help you. I can look after you, easy, until we can figure out what's going wrong with you, and get someone to fix you up… I promise, okay, Cloud?"

Part of me only kept talking because I wanted him to answer. Because I could tell he was suffering, and I didn't want him to have to bear it through silence, either.

- x – x – x –

The phone made an ugly cracking noise as I threw it straight at the wall, incensed. Breathing hard, I stormed back into the living room, pressing a hand hard against my temple to try and calm down.

The bitch working at the doctor's surgery refused to have Cloud looked at unless he had some ridiculous appointment. I'd been ranting at her for a good part of an hour, but she didn't relent, not one bit. In the end, she basically told me I was a demanding asshole, and ordered I put down the phone. So I lost it, for a while.

My gaze flew to Cloud after a matter of seconds, curled up in a sprawling mess of pillows and cushions, pulled out from various rooms in the house. One lifeless arm hung off of the edge of the sofa I'd put him on, the very tips of his fingers nearly brushing the floor.

Sighing heavily, I threw myself into one of the beanbags across the room from him, still staring, deep in thought.

I'd have to tell Cloud's mom he was seriously sick, but… She'd be worried to death. It would completely just put her through hell, since Cloud was her only kid and Gaia knows what happened to whoever his dad was. I didn't know why he was never around, why I'd never met him on my thousands of visits to the Strife home; I'd always thought it was like some big secret, or that it might hurt them. Cloud and his mom were similar, in a hell of a lot of ways. One in particular was how they dealt with things when they got upset; they struggle to keep things locked up inside for long.

"Zack. Oi!"

I jolted in surprise, snapping straight out of my reverie, as I noticed Tifa, leaning right in front of me, face inches from my own. She scowled, pointing at Cloud,

"Who the hell is he, and why's he sleeping on _our_ sofa?" her eyes were burning with anger, her teeth set, and I guessed that was her natural defence to being taken off guard by anything.

As I looked over at him again, Cloud winced audibly in his sleep, kicking out hard and flicking a cushion across the room. It was actually, despite the situation, kind of cute how he took up the sofa- his bare feet only just pressed against the armrest- bearing in mind that, when I lay on it, my _knees_ were in danger of dangling over it. Cloud sure was a late bloomer, that was for sure…

"Zack!!" Tifa urged, grabbing the side of my face, making me look her in the eye, making me concentrate. Her nails bit into my skin, and I cringed slightly under her glare, not trying to twist away.

"Okay. Calm down, Teef," I said, trying to keep my voice level despite the pricking pain from her sharp nails, even when I felt thin trickles of blood seep down into my collar, "He's a friend. I didn't introduce you cause I thought you'd freak."

"I wouldn't freak if you stopped hiding things," she retorted, then narrowed her eyes at me, "Fine. What's he doing here, inside our house? Sleeping on the sofa?"

"He got really ill when we were out walking… He collapsed, and, well," I shrugged my shoulders, as if I could shrug off the next lie, right to Tifa's face, "It's probably just anaemia, so I was gonna let him sleep it off…"  
Tifa stared at me for a long moment, then sighed, letting go of me, and plonked herself down next to me, forcing me to share the beanbag with her. With a very obvious gesture, I reached up and wiped the blood from my face, cradling the sore side the best I could.

"Ow," I complained, pointedly, and Tifa flushed pink, apologising. Playing it up got boring fast, I found out; so, in the end, just grudgingly accepted, staring off into space.

All of a sudden Cloud's breathing, which had been quiet, a steady faint soundtrack for us, sped up rapidly, coming in short little gasps of pain. The previously limp hand, the one that I had noticed practically trailing the floor curled into a tight fist. We both froze, panicked.

He was hyperventilating, shaking so hard I thought he was going to fall off the sofa, end up on the floor, like he was having some kind of fit. It was Tifa who moved first, a blur of motion over to Cloud, leaning uncertainly over him, her dark hair falling like ink against his face, paler than ever, with a strange hectic bright red flush in his cheeks.

"What's wrong with him?!" Tifa whirled around to look at me, still sitting like a statue, shell shocked, "Zack, that sure as hell isn't anaemia!! What is it, epilepsy? Diabetes?"

It's only then I could move, shake my head, push myself up out of the beanbag, and over to then. Gently, I pulled an arm across her shoulders, moving her out of my way, trying to get a better view of Cloud.

He was worse, close up.

Unsure of what to do, how to help, I just stood there for a few heartbeats. Then, almost absent-mindedly, I pushed his fringe out of his eyes, my fingers brushing his forehead; I nearly have to tear my hand away. He's burning up, beyond control, way too hot. His hair and face are already damp with sweat.

I only had one idea, which was just an attempt at bringing his fever down, even though I had no idea what could be causing it… It hurt, just to think that one shit attempt at an ice pack was all I could do for him.

_(Sorry about my lengthy absence- I was away from home for nearly a month, which proved hectic for everything. Specifically, I wrote this much while I was away, and that was it, because I was kind of busy out there. xD Thank you for all the lovely reviews, favourites, messages and everything. It means one hell of a lot to me, even if I can't write anything better than mediocre, like this. I realise I've ended practically every chapter with having something wrong with Cloud… It's becoming a cliché, huh? Well, the way I had the next tiny paragraph written, and the way I'm planning the story to go, I'm going to have to use more than one POV to catch everything. Don't worry, I won't throw thousands of characters at you; only Zack, like now, and the odd Cloud chapter, getting more and more frequent. To differentiate, Cloud's are always in italics, or something like that. xD If the font or something changes, that's definitely a Cloud chapter- besides, as most of their time is around each other or thinking about events connecting the other to them, it shouldn't be too hard to guess.)_


	5. Chapter V: Awake

_((_Okay, Cloud chapter, I'm warning you now. xD I change the POV simply 'cause otherwise I'll struggle later on with the story, when things start to move properly, and... Gah. I know what's going to happen to everyone but I can't say! T-T))

_I thought I was dying. That's how sharp the pain was, how crap I felt._

_Every inch of me hurt, burned unbearably hot, but on the inside, just like poison shooting through my veins, every single nerve ending, burning right into my skull, into my mind. It was worse than being numb, lethargic, like I had been before, unable to move or see anything properly. At least then it had worn off, after I slipped out of consciousness, and when it seemed to pick up, didn't bother me as much…_

_I was awake, but trapped, unable to open my eyes, move voluntarily, still completely incapable to being able to tell what the hell was going on, what had happened, where I was. All I could think about was the pain, searing through me, so unimaginably strong…_

_I couldn't breathe, suffocating in the dark, feeling my hammering heartbeat slow against my ribs, weakening. It didn't take the pain with it, like I expected._

_I heard it then. A male voice, familiar, just muttering one word. My name._

_"Cloud…" Zack's voice, just a murmur. I tried to force out a reply, my throat closed up, and although not making any sound, managed to garner just a tiny bit of strength from the sound of that voice. The pain wavered, ever so slightly._

_"Come on, wake up. Please, Cloud, wake up," Zack pleaded, sounding less and less distant with every word, until it sounded as though he was right beside me… Strong fingers gripped at what felt like my wrist, something ice cold pressed against my forehead…_

_As I struggled with myself, with the pain, the grip grew more and more gentle, the cold against my face moving, fading._

_Zack was still there, I knew it. Still looking after me, like he always had. I tried to speak again, manage his name like I had in the faint memory of being held onto, carried… It choked out, too quiet for him to hear, maybe. I got no reply._

_Then light flooded my vision, and although my head was spinning so hard I felt sick I started to recognise the room; Zack's house, I reminded myself, staring around, the lurching inside my head starting to calm down, clearing my vision properly. By then, I was so dizzy, so disorientated and nauseous, that I barely noticed the burning inside me fade to a dull ache. I had barely gotten over that, before the crushing weight against my chest, my ribs, made me look down at myself, trying to see what was trapping me._

_Hair all a complete disarray of black spikes, the glint of an earring. I sighed in relief when the sense of recognition set in, looking at Zack's face, resting just above my chest, heavy breathing pushing his chest into my body in a low, steady rhythm. He was sound asleep, with one arm hanging loosely across my torso, the other beside my own, fingers still clutching at my wrist._

_"Z-Zack…" I choked out his name again, trying to sit up a little; it was no use. Shifting Zack proved nearly impossible, since he was way too heavy, so, with a huffy sigh, I stopped struggling with him, giving up and flopping my head back down on the armrest._

_Something behind my head creaked, and the weak sunlight in my eyes streamed over Zack. He groaned loudly, irritably, and tried to turn over, away from the light, pressing his weight harder into my abdomen in the process. A wince escaped me, out of my control, and as a door slammed shut inside the room, I jumped, making his pressure on me hurt even more. Light footsteps, getting closer to the sofa, stopped practically just after they started. The room was small, I reminded myself, as I awkwardly tried to twist myself around under Zack, to see what was going on._

_The girl standing behind the sofa blinked hard, completely taken aback, seeing me staring, shell shocked right up at her. She seemed tall; maybe a few inches clear of me, five foot eight or nine… Dark hair swept down to the small of her back, choppy layers, which looked somewhat uneven and homemade, cast all the way through it, and, as she got closer, moving right up to the sofa, I could see her eyes were a warm, friendly, shaded a soft, earthy colour._

_She smiled._

_"You finally decide to wake up and stop giving Zack a heart attack?" she said, her voice light, playful, as I slumped there, speechless._

_"I'm Tifa," she said, her smile growing, encouraging me. The name meant nothing, but I could see she clearly thought it was meant to._

_"…Who…?" My voice was croaky, my throat like sandpaper; it hurt to breathe, let alone talk._

_She looked a little disappointed, but her smile didn't fade, as she spoke, "Hmm. Looks like Zack told you as much about me as I knew about you. Weird," she sighed, leaning over the backing of the seat, "He's my older brother," she explained._

_Weird._

_Zack had never mentioned even having a sister, even though he talked about his parents all the time, whenever there weren't many people around. It stripped all his happy, tough guise right down, made him seem younger than I was, whenever he talked about either of his parents. All the time, he was telling me when he was missing his dad, wishing he'd gone to the funeral; when he wanted his mom back home. When he wanted to go back, be a little kid, just to see them, spend time with them…_

_…and not even one mention of Tifa._

_"So, what's your name?" she asked, casually, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, her eyes curious._

_"Cloud," I choked out, and realisation dawned on her face, as her gaze flickered to Zack, still sprawled out on top of me._

_"He said your name, he was calling out your name, just now," she said, quiet, and reached over, brushing some of his inky hair back from his face, "he's always talked in his sleep, when he was upset."_

_She leant there for a moment, deep in thought, and then snapped herself out of it, moving around the sofa. Her fingers gripped hard at Zack's shoulder, trying not to brush against me too much, and she took a deep breath as I turned, still stuck, unsure of what she was going to…_

_"YAH!" She cried out, then pulled Zack bodily off of me, throwing him some feet away, all with one arm. He landed with a crash onto the bare floorboards, and I cringed automatically, the impact going right through me._

_Still relaxed, like nothing had happened, Tifa turned away, a quick wave of her fingers in my direction._

_"It's alright, he's tough. I'll get you some water."_

_I carried on staring after her, as she left the room, still a little bit startled._

_Zack groaned, twisting around on the floor, curling into a fetal position there. His breathing stayed slow, deep, as though being thrown across the room hadn't even come close to waking him._

_I glanced down at myself as something damp pressed into my arm; a screwed up, vaguely cold cloth, like some kind of crappy makeshift ice pack. Zack's way of looking after me, I guessed._

_Tifa had told me he was the elder sibling, and I could tell, the way he looked after others on missions, especially those younger or of lower rank… I knew how old he was, when his birthday was. His eighteenth wasn't for another six months; it was no wonder he'd seen me as needing protecting all the time, even if he didn't want me to notice he felt that way. After all, I was only nearly sixteen, with only a few weeks to go. Zack had always laughed, told me he thought we should have been born the other way around; him in the summer, me during the winter. I'd agreed, but not with his reasoning. He saw it the simpler way; he loved the sunlight, the warmth, laughing in the sunlight, where I hated the heat, always had. I always thought it was because he always seemed happy, optimistic, bright. I felt like I was always raining on his parade, getting aggravated, upset… I probably hated the heat as my mom told me I'd been born in a huge heatwave, so unbearably hot that she was literally only eating cereal and ice pops during and after her pregnancy and everything. Zack had been born in the snow._

_Not that it means anything._

_Although I knew Zack was the eldest, it was hard to tell exactly how old Tifa was. When she relaxed, she could almost count for older than him, the same age. I'd have bet they were twins, were their eye colours and face shapes not totally different… The resemblance was there, but not in enough ways. Maybe sixteen. Older than I was._

_Thinking about all that couldn't help but make me wonder if there had been anything else Zack hadn't been telling me…_


	6. Chapter VI: Burning

Fire crackled from every direction, blistering heat all around me. I could barely see through the haze, the smoke…

Coughing hard as I inhaled the fumes circulating the village, I slammed both fists into the door in front of me. I could hear screams, hammers of desperate hands from the other side; Nibelheim was burning, and, at this rate, it's residents, too.

As I ran at the door, throwing my full body weight into it, it finally gave way, and the villagers left trapped inside the inn rushed out into the open air, hacking and choking in the billowing smoke.

Impatiently, I hurried the last of them outside, wiping my streaming eyes with the back of my wrist.

"Come on, come on, get out already!" I urged, then, pulling the heavy door shut after the last person, tried to contain a little of the fire raging in that little town.

Heading towards the exit, after all the panicking villagers, I was the first to see the figure through the flames, standing some meters away from the gate leading into the countryside. SOLDIER had improved my body in all the ways that mattered; perfect vision came with the territory.

Thick streaks of dark blood soaked the pale skin, dark clothes, of the man in front of me. Firelight flickered over him, emphasising the bloodstained hair, brittle and lifeless, blonde strands drifting in the dark, sluggish smoke drifting even on the other side of the fire. One hand gripped a heavy, brutal looking sword, dripping an ugly red; the other, some kind of syringe, glowing dark green fluid dripping from the needle's tip. Broken, dirt covered white wings protruded from his back, blood dripping off of the feathers…

The firelight lit up his face, bruised, tear-streaked, but empty, showing no pain, no anger, no triumph. It lit up the dead eyes, blue beacons through the reams of smoke. His lips parted, and the blue turned a sickly green, flickers of some sort of brighter, glowing marks casting into the empty irises. The whisper carried on the smoke, reaching me as I forced the villagers to stand behind me, acting as a shield;

The voice behind the words was broken, fear cracking through the emotionless tone. An apology, my name. That was it.

My eyes filled with tears, and not because of the heat, the destruction that time. My fingers were knotted into the dark clumps of my hair, teeth clenched tight together, as the truth hit me. I knew this monster.

As my knees hit the ground, head sinking low, I tasted copper, burning at the back of my throat. Blood, my blood, soaked the ground beneath my shaking knees, and I reached out, desperate, for the figure in the flames.

"CLOUD!" the scream jolted out of me, as I threw myself into a sitting position, clean, unpolluted air rushing into my lungs, the crackle of the fire silenced all of a sudden.

Tears rolled down my face as I looked up. White walls, familiar clutter, wooden floorboards under my fingers. I raised a trembling hand halfway to my mouth, feeling sick to my stomach, as I started to calm down, recognising the living room, my house. My home. I must've fallen asleep, nursing…

"Zack?!" Hands found my shoulders, as someone knelt in front of me, blurred by my tears, face bone white.

Cloud, I tried to reassure myself. It was Cloud, he was fine, as small as I remembered him, innocent and scared and-

Barely knowing what I was doing, I leant forwards, pulling him into my arms, hugging him against me, hard.

"Uh- Zack- Z-Zack-" Cloud choked out, crushed against me, and as I lessened my grip I felt his arms wind around my waist, trapped awkwardly. He patted my back the best he could, before I pulled away, dropping my head so he wouldn't see the last of my tears.

"It's nothing. Just a bad dream," I said, already starting to move away, stand up properly. In my haste, I stumbled, and he caught me, surprisingly strong, not even seeming to struggle much with me, despite his frailer build.

"S'alright," he muttered.

(Sorry about the short chapter. I have a tonne of homework I forgot about and summer break ends tomorrow... I just wanted to get something up. xD)


	7. Chapter VII: Seventh Heaven

Things were pretty quiet between us, after that. Cloud went home, assuring me he'd never felt better- which only stressed me out more, since the _last_ time he said that, it had been seconds before he collapsed… Tifa was on my case much more than usual; she probably could guess that I was hiding a lot more than just a shy friend from her. Maybe she could even tell I had a vague idea what was making Cloud's health a bit dodgier than usual. It got harder and harder to lie, every time. I've never been much of a liar, ask anybody. Better to blurt out the truth than regret keeping things in later. Apart from my one exception. SOLDIER and Tifa. The two just couldn't mix.

I didn't see Cloud in person for a few weeks- missions kept coming up for me, odd considering I'd not had a serious one for months, so I ended up only being able to call him every now and again. The reception was terrible most places, and I was trying to save credit since I had to call Tifa at least three times, every night, to tell her I was okay, lie about what I was doing. Cloud only got one or two calls at all, and even then they were rushed and usually while I was halfway up a mountain or something.

I had a track record in SOLDIER. I'd never once refused or skipped out on a mission. I'd failed plenty, just never turned anything down. Even if they were nearly impossible, or completely stupid, I went along with them the best I could. I was the kid you could ask to do anything, so long as it came as a text and seemed vaguely a bit like a mission. I was the target for a lot of pranks, I have to admit.

So, on August 19th, when I called in to work and announced I was taking the night and most of the next day off, there was a lot of shock. Well, after all, having not communicated properly with Cloud for _weeks_, it seemed (to me, at least) a good idea to catch up on his birthday. I took my break, taking the stunned silence on the other end of the line as a go ahead, and arranged to meet Cloud right afterward; I decided that, for his birthday present, since I hadn't had the time to actually BUY him anything, I was taking him to Seventh Heaven, the only decent bar anywhere near Midgar.

Strolling along the street, toward the entrance to the bar, I didn't realise Cloud was even there until I recognised his voice calling after me. I turned, confused, looking for him in the throng of people behind me, probably stuck behind some guy ten times taller than he was… When the guy in front of me cleared his throat awkwardly, I glanced his way. And did a double take.

"_Cloud?!" _I gasped, staring at him.

He gave me an uncomfortable grin, not used to me staring at him in such a shocked way, "…Yeah."

"Whoa, man, seriously…" I flapped my arms around like an idiot, gesturing at the height difference between us, "How_ tall _are you now?"

He was nearly at eye level with me. It was more than a little freaky, since he'd barely been making 5ft 4" a few weeks back.

"Five-ten," he admitted, pushing one hand through his hair, bashfully trying to avoid catching my eye.

Which, I noticed, was a lot harder for him than before, since there was less than a couple of inches between us. It was just mind-blowing, how much he's hot up over only a few weeks… He hadn't just got taller, either. The lankiness to his frame was completely gone, like he'd grown into his own body. I guess it was more surprising because Cloud had always been the late bloomer, so much that I honestly never thought he'd come close to catching up to me. I was over six foot when I met him, so he'd always had to be looking up at me just to speak. I was pretty used to being taller than everyone else, since I'd hit my growth spurt and all that crap at around twelve, maybe pushing thirteen, so Cloud being like a kid compared to me really wasn't a biggie. But, now I found myself actually struggling with the fact he was nearly my size… He was still skinny, thinner than I know he'd have liked to be, but I could see slight, long muscles under his bare arms that sure as hell had NOT been there the last time I saw him. There was a maturity to him, in his face, making him look older, more experienced. He didn't look like the kid I remembered, and that was probably what caught me off guard in the first place.

He'd finally, after Gaia knows how many years, cut his hair a little, so it didn't cover his eyes quite so much. Normally, I'd have thought he might have tamed it a little, but it stuck out from his head even more, if anything, looking lighter, healthier than I'd ever seen it. Just like he wasn't hiding behind his fringe so much, he wasn't shrinking away in huge baggy jumpers and jeans that could probably have fitted _me_ just fine, either. His jeans were black skinnies (if I had learned anything about Cloud, it was that he had a serious issue wearing anything other than black, dark blue and grey) and hung low on his hips, showing a brighter flash of what had to be his pants just under where his T-shirt fell. It was fitted, showing off his newer shape to its advantage; the stronger build of his shoulders, his upper arms, and then his slim waist, hips.

Hmm. The girls were going to go nuts over him. Especially since he somehow STILL managed to look all cute and puppy-dog innocent.

Not even getting over his fussy eating could have made Cloud grow so much, I decided.

"So, you finally decided to eat your greens?" I joked, shoving him as I tore my gaze away at last.

- x – x- x-

The all-too-familiar barmaid threw me a look a disdain as I slid onto one of the stools near the bar, tugging Cloud until he sat down next to me. Her copper waves shimmered as she turned back to the taps behind her, then pushed a brimming glass toward the man on my other side. He scowled at me. The bargirl pointedly ignored me.

Ouch.

"Cissnei…?" I squeaked, cringing just a little as she whipped around to glare at me.

"What,_ Zachary_?"

Oh GAIA I hate when people use my full name. It's only ever girls, and only when they're seriously pissed off. Mom used to do it, Tifa definitely did it and now Cissnei was at it, too.

So what if I don't give her a call and when my phone dies I don't call her back when I listen to all the voicemails she left? Cissnei had been my girlfriend for nearly a year, she knew already what I was like. Both of us knew the other was cheating. I'd never thought up till then that either of us were really close enough to be mad at the other. I was wrong.

"I'll have a Bloody Goddess. Again," interrupted the guy next to me, passing his already drained glass back.

As she messed around with the drinks, Cloud leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"She's pretty mad, you know. Promise her another date or something. Soon, or she'll give up on you."

"Alright, Dr. Phil. Give me a break," I whispered back. After all, when did he turn into such a girl expert, anyway?!  
"What'll it be, then?" she sighed, looking at Cloud, and not me. _Real _mature.

"Knock me out," I announced, looking over at Cloud as Cissnei went to get a drink she deemed able to "knock me out". That was probably a stupid suggestion, given how mad she was with me.

"Water, thanks," he muttered.

I hit him. A bit too hard.

"_Ow-!"_he winced, "…what?!"

"You don't order water! Not in a cool bar!" I hissed, "be a man! Men don't drink water, we drink strong manly spirits and end up shitting ourselves. It's how it works!"

"Says who?!"

"Says everyone! It's like a law of manhood- now order. Something. Decent!"

"Are you guys done, or what…?" Cissnei complained, and Cloud blanched noticeably.

"He'll have the same as me," I replied, ignoring Cloud's quiet little protest, and shot him a glare. "_Live a little!"_

- x – x – x -

Fifteen drinks later, things were a heck of a lot more fuzzy. The warm room was starting to tilt, spinning around me slowly, making me wonder if maybe, just maybe, we might be having a _little _too much, for one night…?

"Wahhazzzat?" I groaned, as the blonde head slumped in my shoulder moved, a hand tugging at my sleeve.

"Hit me again, pleassssse…" he slurred, and, looking even more seriously pissed off than she had earlier, Cissnei passed the both of us another drink.

"Chill owwwwwwwwt, Cissssyyy," I giggled, waving my glass for emphasis. It slipped out my hand and smashed hard on the stone floor. Cloud hiccupped, and swore loudly.

"You're disgusting," she told me, hands on her hips.

"Thanks," I groaned, in response, asking for another.

Everything stopped being funny, and I just started to feel ill. The room was zipping around like crazy, doubled up in most places, and I kept feeling like I was about to spew, my head pounding so hard it felt like a heartbeat.

Worst of all? I was dying to pee.

So, I got up to leave, wobbling hard as I headed out the door, guiding Cloud the best I could. As we passed the stocks, I grabbed a random bottle, not really caring. I'd have to drink the next morning, too, I already knew that, just so it wouldn't crush me so much. The only flaw would be if Tifa was around; I knew she disapproved.

"We'll feel shiiit tomorrow, Cloudy," I groaned, letting Cloud lean on me for support as _I_ leant on the _wall_ for support.

"Mmm," he managed, head hanging low.

"Cloudy… Listen…" I slurred, as we staggered down the street.

"I feel sick…" he admitted, and when he looked up at me, I saw his pupils were huge, dilated, eyes big and dark in the bone white face. Our eyes caught, and the street spun just a bit less. I grinned lazily at him, stopping short as I used my arm slung over his shoulder to make him face me.

"Oh… so you… already feel like shit. Not jus' me," I shivered, the cold getting to me, "comes with the terri.. terrytor… terry… tree."

That word was hard, I realised, as I laughed to myself. He just stared at me, all wide blue eyes and…

I lurched forwards suddenly, arm around him wrapping tight, feeling so dizzy and sicj and confused-

My mouth pushed hard against his, and Cloud let out a low gasp, what sounded like an oath, eyes growing even wider with shock. As he tried to pull away from me, automatically, I held him there, letting my eyes flicker shut. His lips parted slightly, unwillingly.

It was so, so, _so_ wrong. I had a (sort of) girlfriend, and we were friends, comrades, as good as brothers…

Plus we were slap bang in the middle of public.

But, somehow, some_way,_ it felt right.

When I finally released him, Cloud half turned, pulling away, fell heavily to his knees and was violently sick in the gutter.

"Aw, shit," I sighed.

(Yes, I know I'm overusing the word shit at the moment. I'm sorry. xDDD I'm fourteen and kind of have only gotten drunk once, so I'm going by my dad and a friend's ways of being drunk. Both swear a lot. ;P)


	8. Chapter VIII: Apology

Urgh.

That's literally the first thing that crossed my mind the morning afterwards. The second thing was that someone obviously at some point in the night had run over me with a ten ton truck. And the third…?

Hell, where was I? And where was Cloud?!

I tried to sit up, but the room around me spun rapidly, and I quickly slumped back down, concentrating on the revolving ceiling and trying desperately not to be sick. As it started to slow down, I glanced up, braving the nausea, and couldn't help but sigh in relief when I recognised the posters lining the walls of the room. My room. I remembered, at last, that I'd been drinking the night before, and things slowly started to make sense.

There was a bottle of water by the side of the bed, and as I gingerly sat up, body aching all over, I accidentally put my feet in the huge bucket underneath the frame. Tifa must have been busy, making sure I didn't stay up here and just puke. Probably because she'd end up cleaning it all up, as I just wouldn't bother.

I kicked it to the side with a low grunt, then had to throw myself after it when the wave of nausea kicked in, overthrowing me. Retching and spluttering into the bucket, the smell of puke only making me feel worse, I barely heard the thump of footsteps, running up the stairs, the girl calling my name out, cautious.

Tifa found me sprawled across my bedroom floor, still fully dressed from the night before, head literally inside the plastic bucket, some seconds later.

"Oh, Zack…" she sighed, exasperated, and knelt down next to me, gently stroking at my back.

"Wh-where's Cl-" I started to try and ask, but got cut off almost instantly by more of my sick. Tifa still understood, though.

"I found you down the street… passed out, nearly under a hedge. There was no one else there, Zack. Cloud must have gone home."

_Oh. _

It didn't help that I couldn't remember a thing past about the third drink, of course. It all just blurred into one huge drunken slur. After a few minutes, Tifa's sympathy for that _year_ ran dry, and she, with one last pat at my back, left me retching inside my room. Soon after that, the house phone rang. I didn't try to get it, unsurprisingly. Instead, I fumbled around blindly for the water bottle. I heard her crashing about downstairs, then talking too loudly to somebody, presumably on the phone judging by the lack of response, sounding annoyed.

"Fine. Fine. FINE," she snapped, starting to stomp up the stairs. I pushed the bucket away, scrubbing at my mouth, as she stormed into my room again, phone held a few inches from her face as a guy's voice literally roared "FIIIIIIIIIIINE!" from the receiver.

"FINE! I told you, I just need an hour or so, but if you don't wanna-" she paused, listening to the voice at the other end for a moment, then started up again, "Look, my brother's puking his guts up at the moment, I can't just walk out, can I?!"

"Sorry, Teef," I said when she hung up and threw the phone (still cracked from when I'd gotten mad with it in my hand) to the floor with an irritated huff.

She smiled at me, but didn't say anything in reply, thinking hard to herself.

x-x-x-x-x

Seven hours or so later, after a seriously heavy sleep, I trudged out to my bike and, without even leaving a note for Tifa, who'd headed out sometime while I was asleep, headed for Nibelheim. Cloud's house was bigger than mine, I mused as I strolled up the path through the village. All the houses there were, which annoyed me a little bit as the town itself was much more tight-knit than Gongaga.

Cloud's mom was the one to answer the door. She almost shut it right in my face when she realised who I was, instead leading me upstairs with her lips in a very tight line. She was so mad, I could almost see smoke rushing out her ears. Cloud was worse, because he wasn't pissed off like his mom was. I could see why she was, though, don't get me wrong- that I'd dragged him out and gotten him drunk and most likely left him to walk the miles back to his house by himself wasn't the most responsible or kindest of moves.

I always knew when Cloud was upset or angry about something, because he literally shut down with the effort of keeping things bottled up. And in that state was exactly how I found him when I walked into his room, trying to ignore his mom's glare boring into my back.

"Hey, man," I said, casually strolling across the room, "You doin' okay, Spikey?"

He didn't respond, gaze fixed on the carpet.

Oh boy.

"Okay, Gaia, I'm sorry I put you through last night, Cloud. Shit, it wasn't completely my fault, you're supposed to be the level-headed one, aren't ya? You could have stopped on your own-"

I shut up when he looked at me, not looking in the least bit upset or angry like I'd expected him to. He just looked exhausted.

"How much of last night do you remember?" he asked, quietly.

"Uh, a bit of it. Nothing past… the fifth drink," I half-lied.

"Hm. So, you don't remember after the bar at all…?"

I shook my head, and was startled to see Cloud suddenly blush. He hastily hid his face the best he could by drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them, but it was obvious he was seriously embarrassed.

"What. Did. I. Do?" I said, suddenly a bit worried. I could have done anything… said anything… while I was pissed…

"You kissed-" his blue eyes found mine, then flashed away, his half-hidden cheeks burning even more, "you kissed some random girl in the street. She slapped you and ran away."

His voice shook oddly, an octave too high, which gave the distinct impression that Cloud was lying. But, seeing how embarrassed he was, I just didn't try and probe him any further.

I tried to sit down next to him on the bed, but nearly fell over a bulging rucksack that was thrown across the floor. Cloud sat up a little more when I picked it up, squeaking a little "Hey!" as I upturned it, spilling the entire contents out in a messy heap on his floor.

I knew how effortlessly tidy Cloud was, almost to the point of being OCD, so I could tell exactly why all his neatly packed stuff being thrown across his room was bothering him. I only irked him more by sitting heavily down on the floor and starting to rifle through all the stuff there, remarking in a loud voice as I cleared the pile up- by throwing it further across the room, bit by bit.

"Okay. Torch, that's weird, jeans, WAY too tight for ya now, T-shirts, washed, unlike mine-"

Despite Cloud's growing protests, I carried on haplessly making my way through the pile, until I reached the last thing that had been in his bag, and turned to look at him.

"…and, a _cuddly toy_?" I crowed, incredulous, dangling the bird thing in front of Cloud's beet red face with a finger and thumb.

"Put that back!" he snapped, lunging. I swung my arm back easily, laughing,

"What's it s'posed to be, anyway?" I wondered, swaying it tantilisingly close to his face before dodging his swing at it again.

"…s'achocobo." He muttered, words all merging into one.

"You've both got the same hair-" I teased, breaking off when Cloud finally managed to snatch the yellow bird out of my grip.

"Shut up, Zack."

"Why're you packing all this stuff, anyway?" I asked him after we'd both calmed down a little, and were packing all the mess I'd created back into his bag.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" he glanced up at me, brushing the stray blonde streaks of his hair from his eyes, "I've got my first solo mission tomorrow. I won't be around for a few weeks, I'm s'posed to be tracking down some experiment or something."

He smiled shyly, and I remembered how proud _I'd_ been at getting my first solo mission, and grinned back.

Tracking down a ShinRa experiment. How ironic.

(Soooooooooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates recently- I don't have any real excuse other than the fact that this was supposed to be up Friday, some weeks ago. I went with a bunch of friends to Lush, the only club that lets in under 18s around here, and afterwards managed to get completely pissed for the first time. Oh God. We were playing this game called "gay chicken", where you have to lean in like you're gonna kiss somebody and whoever pulls away first loses, kinda like spin the bottle... and, needless to say, I pulled a Zack on the only guy there. Sadly, I remembered all of it, especially when I woke up the next afternoon (we went to sleep at 5am, not my fault) fully dressed and underneath my best friend. (He was HER best friend) Since then, I've been mucking around a lot trying to patch a certain friendship up (she called dibs after four ciders, of COURSE she was drunk and didn't know what she was going on about! D:) and stuff like that. Sooooo, sorry. I was busy getting first hand experience, okay?

Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews, favourites, subscribers, etcetera. Every time one pops up in my emails I squee, trust me. xD)


	9. Chapter IX: Rescue

"A Third Class needs assistance with a mission, Fair. You're the only Second not on duty right now," Lazard's voice scolded over the phone. Sighing heavily, I sat up, the bathwater sloshing noisily around me as I moved.

"I'm kinda busy. And on vacation this week," I pointed out, feeling like being stubborn about work for a change. As if I hadn't figured out how much the Director took advantage of me to start with!

"It's urgent, Fair-" he groaned heavily, then changed tack, "Zack, I promise this won't go unpaid."

"But I'm on a paid vacation already."

"Double pay?" he offered.

"Nuh-uh."

"Shame… Strife's first solo mission, too…"

I lost my grip on the side of the bathtub, and fell back with a stunned curse, ending up under the water completely. I surfaced, coughing painfully, and as I scrubbed soapy water out of my eyes managed to say…

"What?!"

"Oh. I heard you were friends, Fair, so I thought you'd be interested."

"What the hell happened to Cloud?!" I spluttered, clambering clumsily out of the bath and searching blindly for a clean towel.

"We don't know. We haven't been able to get hold of him for some days now."

"And I'd be doing what? Tracking him down?"

"Locating Strife, and hopefully disposing of the target, too. We think there's a chance it might have turned on him."

I swore, wrapping the towel frantically around my waist as I left the bathroom in a flurry of panic.

"Okay, okay, I'll do it. Send a car or something, I'll be there in five minutes."

Lazard chuckled, sounding satisfied, and the line went dead.

"Teef, I'm going out, should be back later! I'll call you!" I bellowed as I ran through the front door, tugging my jacket on as I sprinted down the country lane.

All I could think of was Cloud, lying helpless as some menacing experiment loomed over him… Injured. Unconscious.

…Dead…?

_No. No no no no no, _I told myself. Cloud was not dead. There was no way he could be dead. He'd probably just tripped and dropped his phone someplace and fainted…

…and then been eaten by wild fiends.

Oh Gaia.

As I ran down the lane, I noticed the steady, mechanical whirring getting louder.

"Oh, yeah! _Real_ subtle, Lazard! My sister won't notice a huge freakin' ShinRa _helicopter_ landing minutes from our house, will she?!" I yelled, too wound up to care if the pilot heard.

He was broodingly silent the whole ride, and blanked me completely when I asked where we were going. So, when I glanced out the window after what felt like a century, I nearly threw something. If he'd cared to have told me, I could've ran back home and grabbed a coat.

Or ten coats.

"Mondeoheim. Riiiiiiiight," I grumbled to myself, shivering automatically at the sight of the snowy mountains looming ahead. Why couldn't the stupid experiment have chosen somewhere warmer to hide in?

Cloud would have been more comfortable here, though, I realised, what with his aversion to the heat and all.

The pilot all but pushed me from his ride, and it was lucky the snow was there to cushion my possibly-incredibly-painful fall. The thick white mush crunched loudly under my boots as I started the long trek up the side of the mountain. At least Cloud would be easy to spot, wearing his dark 3rd Class uniform in all this white.

Despite that, I didn't catch a glimpse of him, or anyone else for that matter, all the way up the hill. There were plenty of fiends, which seriously worried me- the numbers had drastically increased since the last time Cloud and I had been on this mountain, when we first met…

And then they had gotten the better of me, back then.

I finally found him, lying in a crumpled heap against a dirty, reeking pipe inside the abandoned building hidden halfway up the mountain. As I ran towards him, I could hear his breath coming in and out in loud, heavy pants and gasps. He was _breathing,_ I couldn't help but think, finally able to put my thoughts of Cloud's dead, broken body to rest.

"Cloud, buddy?" I asked softly, kneeling down next to his slumped form and gently touching the side of his head. He looked up slowly, face racked with pain, and as his head lifted the dim light brushed against the huge, bleeding gashes ripping through his chest and one side of his sweaty, ghost-pale face…

I pulled my hand away as his terrified gaze found mine, dry lips opening, as if to say something, then closing again. My gloveless fingers were a dull colour from the cold, and now stained with horrible dark, sticky blood.

"Cloud, what the hell happened to you?" I asked.

He opened his mouth again to answer, when a loud crash caused us both to jump. I whipped around, and out of the corner of my eye just caught a glimpse of something shooting back into the shadows in the corner of the room.

"It's still here," he whimpered, and as I glanced back, I saw the Cloud I'd known for all that time had never disappeared, not even from his physical appearance. That small, vulnerable look was still there, and all too apparent in his wide blue stare.

He was literally paralysed with fear, clinging to the pipe beneath him with a new, desperate strength, like he was expecting to be wrenched from it any second.

A deep, guttural laugh rang back and forth across the metal walls, sending a shiver up my spine. Cautiously, I stood up, glaring into the gloom, at where I thought the target had disappeared to.

It came in a blur, too fast for me to dodge, from the opposite direction, and used its' full weight to knock both me to the floor and the air from my chest. I gasped in shock, kicking out at the figure as it shot towards me.

My foot connected with the speeding monster, and it let out a screech of pain, seeming to stumble and lean against a pipe some metres away. I rolled over, to my feet, and heard Cloud scream out a warning through his now audible sobs.

I was thrown hard against the ground again, this time cracking the base of my skull against the iron floor, as it effectively sat on top of me. The agony shattered through my entire body, as, with a throaty attempt at a chuckle, the experiment gripped hard at my hair, forcing my head back. It was then I finally saw it properly for the first time.

It was clear that it had once been human; I could see it in the basic build of the thing. But ShinRa had really messed this one up. Both his teeth and fingernails were elongated, sharp and thin as bone needles, and dirty and stained to boot. Yeah, I could tell it had once been a "he", then. One side of his chest looked beaten out of shape, caved in, and everything about him seemed wild, untamed. Everything about him screamed _dangerous_, and no amount of SOLDIER experiments could rip that impression away from a person.

"You brought a friend, lapdog," he said, in more of a growl than a human voice, his head twisting to look at the huddled heap that Cloud had become, "How…" when he turned to look down at me, struggling against his vice-like grip on the back of my hair and his crushing weight, his lips were stretched out in a wide grin, baring all his teeth…

My heartbeat throbbed in my ears as he leant towards me, still giving me that awful, twisted parody of a smile. His breath was too warm against my neck as he chuckled again, and hissed,

"…_convenient."_

"Get away from me, you son of a-!" I started to yell, cutting off abruptly with a disgusted gasp as he ran his tongue up the side of my tensed neck. It was sickening, how it felt, and I couldn't help but shudder as he pulled away.

"Hmm… you don't seem all tainted like your little friend," it sighed, almost longingly, and, still grossed out, I started thrashing around madly underneath him, trying to get free.

"I bet you're delicious," his eyes laughed as he yanked at my hair, ripping at the roots. Tears sprung up in my eyes as I struggled, clenching my teeth together hard with the effort not to cry out.

It leant down, grinning again, and the spike of pain ripped into my throat, blossoming through my head and my vision. I could smell the blood, stomach churning coppery blood, and that fist gulp echoed through the room like it was louder than anything else there.

I really did scream then, and I heard Cloud's cries mixing with my own, terror and anguish and pain…

Even that started to fade.


	10. Chapter X: Helpless

_"Zaaaaaaack!"_

My voice broke halfway through the scream, erratic sobs shuddering through my chest. Zack cried out once, more of a low, choking gasp than anything else, and I watched in horror as the monster pulled Zack closer to him, his elongated fingernails ripping straight through the leather of his jacket, tearing at the dark strands of his hair. I was almost overwhelmed by the unstoppable urge to attack this horrible failed experiment- the way he was holding Zack against him, so possessively, like a lover; the triumphant grin I could see stretching the sides of his mouth, as he gulped harder, dark red blood dripping down to the ground beneath them, drops splashing onto Zack's half stunned, half horrified face. Not one thing about him or how he was treating Zack didn't make me want to murder him.

Zack barely started fighting before he fell limp, his eyes huge but oddly unfocused, distant. It hit me hard how little I'd seen of Zack acting like that; he was never the type to get lost in his thoughts, to gaze off into nothing. With him, everything was dragged into the present, in a startlingly sharp focus, and I never cast my thoughts to the past. Something about Zack affected me, forced me to push myself out of any kind of rut the past left me in. His energy was the thing that spurred me forwards, kept me out of the past and right next to him, right… right where I wanted to be. When that energy started to fade from him, the vigour just seemed to sap straight out of me, that weird surge of strength that kept me clinging to the pole next to me. It weakened me just to see Zack fading, almost looking like he was about to drift off to sleep-

But Zack never did that. If he slept at all, it was split seconds after bouncing around like an overly excitable, well, puppy, a tag he always had resented. A name everyone used behind his back, knowing that if they were caught Zack could always just laugh it off, or at his worst, maybe even challenge them to a squat drill; his idea of punishment, since it was one of his more ridiculous habits; despite the situation, I smiled to myself a little as it flicked across my mind how annoyed I'd always gotten when, halfway through a conversation, he'd just suddenly start squatting, exactly where he stood. His favourite time for that trick was during important mission briefs- he'd insist, to Lazard's barely concealed amusement, that he had a desperate need to stretch his legs. Worst excuse he'd ever cooked up, in my opinion, but for Zack it worked every time.

A choked off, throaty attempt at a cry brought me hurtling back into the present, staring back into Zack's eyes, which started to slide shut…

I hear it the second time, see his fingers attempt to grip at the monster on top of him. The movement fails, his hand only twitching violently, but his whisper to me is as clear as day, even over the horrible dripping and gulping noises filling the warehouse.

_Run._

He wanted me to run, while the experiment was pre-occupied with him.

I couldn't leave Zack- I couldn't leave anyone behind! He knew that! How could he expect me to run, to leave him behind in the arms of that… that _thing_?!

His eyes, though unfocused, followed me as I stumbled to my feet, and a tiny smile threatened his lips. He thought I was going to run away, that I'd be safe. I'd never be safe, no matter how far I ran; so, betraying all reputation I'd gained during my time with SOLDIER, for once I refused to obey a superior rank. For once, I refused a direct order.

For once, I was unpredictable, and acted in completely the opposite way to what was expected of me, a Third Class, a nobody.

I threw myself at Zack's attacker.

For a moment, it looked shocked; tearing its face away from Zack's neck to glance at me as I lurched forwards. Nausea curled in my stomach at the sight of Zack's wound, at all the blood so close by, but I gritted my teeth and ignored it, only focused on the experiment-

And, just for a tiny second, it felt like I was going to catch it unawares, for the shock to be enough for me to kill it. That tiny second didn't last long enough, broken- along with possibly a rib or two- as a bloodstained arm shot out from nowhere, catching me hard enough to make the loud _crack_ echo around the metal walls, to send me shooting backwards into one of the pipes lining the room. Agony ripped through my abdomen, all up my spine, as I slid the last few feet down to the ground, blinded by red- whether it was from the pain or the anger, I could no longer tell.

The monster dropped Zack to the ground, dark head bouncing on the strutted flooring in a way that told me his victim had fainted, and stood up, stalking toward me across the room.

"Aw, do you intend to ruin my fun? You were gonna be dessert, lapdog," it growled as it approached me, clawed hand reaching down, grasping at my chin. The sharp nails scratched at my skin, a low whimper escaping from my lips, as he pulled my face up to his, inches from the bloodied mouth…

"It's such a shame- you looked so appetising, but when I-" I cut off the words with a cry of pain as he slowly and deliberately dragged a nail across my cheek, and leant down, his tongue sliding along the bleeding gash he'd created.

"Mmm… Just like I thought. Not right," the tone was almost like a complaint, and I tried desperately to shrink back as he sank down, as good as sitting on top of me as he was going to get, what with my frantic attempts to pull away.

"Gah-" I gasped, first at the weight of the thing, but then at the steadily blossoming pain shooting out from the back of my skull, right through my head, right through my thoughts.

Bright lights pricked before my eyes as my vision blurred, changing; I thrashed around, unable to stop myself screaming as the burning hot acid shot through me, spreading down into my chest, my arms, even my legs, which were quickly freed as the experiment presumably moved away…

Back to Zack?! Was that where he was going?

My screams became his name as I writhed on the ground, suddenly boiling hot and freezing cold, all at the same time. I couldn't let it get to Zack again! If I did, Zack could die, he was helpless! As helpless as I was-

When that thought broke through into my mind, things turned unbearably crystal clear, and I found myself standing up, almost like some unseen force was dragging me to my feet. And my thoughts suddenly all became just one- _I had to finish the mission_.

They were right. I had to finish what I'd started- the reason I'd been asked to go after this monster wasn't just to follow it, it was to take it out!

I didn't need to think, I didn't even need to consciously move. I could fight, I could kill. That was all that mattered.

_The perfect SOLDIER_, I remembered them telling me, before the needle went in my arm. All the mutters as I drifted off to sleep, saying the same thing- except for one.

She had said _perfect monster_, the woman helping the scientist.

The thoughts disappeared again, replaced again by the sudden drive to kill the experiment; more than I'd felt even when he was assaulting Zack, when he was mocking us afterwards.

My fingers curled around the hilt of Zack's sword, discarded some feet from his collapsed form, and surged towards the monster, just like the energy surged through me. But it was too much, even after such a short time; it hurt more than I could have imagined, taking over everything, turning the world white…

When even the white was pulled into the blackness, I didn't fight back. I didn't even think of protesting. I fell along with it.


	11. Chapter XI: Harmed

The first thing I saw when I woke up was Cloud.

Or, I thought it was; but the man in front of me couldn't be him. His confident stance, the swagger to his hips as he strolled across the space in front of me, the smirk drifting across his face…

The lights in his eyes. Green, unnatural flickers that sent me flying back into my nightmare, which had recurred for at least a week before I'd found out about Cloud's "disappearance". It all matched except for one thing- Cloud didn't look bruised, broken, dead like I matched the green eyes with. If anything he looked more full of life than I'd even seen him, bouncing gently on the balls of his feet, swinging the sword effortlessly in his hands.

I heard a gurgling cry, and twisted around to see the experiment on my other side, arms wrapped tight around his ribcage as if in pain. He grimaced, teeth grinding hard together with a high, horrible noise like nails on chalkboard.

"I knew it- I knew you were one of those damned experiments," it hissed, to my surprise seeming to stagger.

Cloud's smirk widened in almost a _malicious_ way as he strode forwards, stepping straight over my waist without so much as a glance downwards at me, lifting the sword so the very point of the blade touched the experiment's neck.

"Look who's talking," he responded, voice soft, quiet- to the point of seeming just that little bit menacing. The tip of his sword nicked at his target's throat, and as a tiny drop of blood slid down from the point of impact the monster gave a low growl, hands- or what was left of his hands- curling into fists.

"It's pitiful, isn't it? All you need is blood-"

A sudden, stupid mental image of Cloud singing "_all you need is blood_" to the tune from the Beatles' similarly titled song flashed across my mind. Damned brain, I was supposed to be concentrating on Cloud! If he got hurt while I was just lying there, it would be so ridiculous and pathetic on my part. At the time, every little thing was just so distracting… almost like some part of my mind, the bit that liked to stay focused on a fight, the bit that made me such a decent SOLDIER, wasn't working right. No, it was working right… It was just distant, like everything around me seemed to be, all the noise, the light, the cold metal under my sprawled body.

Plus the rushing in my ears was getting really disorientating, and I had no idea why until I glanced down at myself and saw, to my disgust, that I was streaked with blood, the floor sticky with it. There were huge gashes torn through the dark leather of my jacket, and, dismayed, I couldn't help but think that I'd _loved_ that jacket.

My dismay and disgust quickly turned to horror when I realised the blood was my own; the source being the damned teeth marks in my throat.

"_Fair! Look out!"_ Cloud's voice ripped through my reverie, and I looked up to see the experiment looming over me. Something heavy and, by the sound of it, made of metal clattered to rest near my feet, and I instinctively reached for it, lashing out at the body practically on top of me.

It lurched backwards, cursing, giving me enough time to scramble to my feet, slipping in the blood a little. I looked to Cloud, who was picking up his sword from where he'd been lying when I first walked in; apparently, he'd been using mine up until that point. That point being injuring the monster nearly fatally, by the look of the thing.

"What the hell is with that "Fair" crap?!" I tried to joke, but my throat stung to speak, and my voice cracked horribly.

Cloud didn't answer, using the distance between himself and the experiment as a run up, all the better to launch himself at his target with. I saw the claws going for him, right at his face, and yelled out his name in warning, moving to help, because he was going to get himself injured like that-

And, suddenly, he wasn't in the path of the attack. He flipped, too fast for me to follow properly, right over his assailant's arm, the elongated nails raking through the leg of his pants- preferable to them raking through his _face_, I noted. The blond landed hard, one foot on either of the monster's shoulders- hard enough to force the other to the ground. He skidded backwards as one attack, then another, were sent his way; then blocked the third blow, a pale hand gripping hard, controllingly, at the experiment's wrist- who, for the first time, looked genuinely scared.

With a grunt of effort, he threw the other man (if you could call it a man) a good few feet away, following him with what seemed like a single stride, though it had to be more, judging by the distance.

Then, he jumped, avoiding the experiment's attempts to kick him away, and landed that time in a slightly more agile way, crouching down with the balls of his feet on the thing's shoulder blades. Cloud brought the sword down swiftly, like he'd done it a million times before, stabbing right down at the man beneath him, who lurched with a low cry, then went limp.

Cloud stood up, the movement as fluid as his fighting, then turned towards me. He hadn't even broken a sweat; his breathing was completely normal, not even the slightest bit ragged. It set me off on an edge- I hadn't even been the one doing the fighting, but I could barely find the air, so how could he go through a tough target like that, no problems? He'd been struggling more than me, when I'd walked in!

He paused beside me, watching me struggle to find the strength to stand up, then wordlessly offered his hand. I reached up and took it, unable to stop myself swearing a little under my breath as he tugged me straight up to my feet, with no effort on my part whatsoever.

"Cloud?" I asked, more than breathless. He didn't reply, head down. I touched his arm, trying to get him to look up at me. I had to see his eyes, one more time; see if they were the same as my dream's version. To make sure they weren't, because I desperately didn't want anything of that dream being replicated in my life, thank you very much.

He shuddered, then, to my surprise, _stumbled_. Over, well, just about thin air.

"Huh?" It came out as half a whimper, and I tightened my grip on his arm as Cloud swayed dangerously on the spot. He still wouldn't look up at me, gaze fixated on his hands, covered in blood- mine, the experiment's, his own.

"What… happened?" we chorused, both as confused as the other, and I couldn't help but laugh. No voice joined mine again, not even a chuckle like I would have expected; Cloud had to be really serious, or just in shock-

His head lifted, blue eyes finding my teal, and I realised in an instant it was the latter. His blond head turned, looking from me to the experiment's body, at his hands, the blood beneath us, and then back to me again.

"I… did that…?" he mumbled, terrified.

"Yeah," was all I managed in response.

"But-"

"Alright, no more questions, Cloudy. We're getting you fixed up; you're still all injured, aren't you-?" I tried to gesture at the scratch marks across his chest, his head, but stopped, stunned, when I found there to be none. He was still, like I was, covered in blood, and his clothes were torn, but all the injuries were just _gone_, like they'd just been wiped away.

"You're the one who's injured," he replied softly, leaning forwards as though he was about to faint; only my arm was keeping him upright.

I reached up with my free hand, touching at the wounds- sure enough, they were still bleeding. It kind of annoyed me that he was going to walk out of all that practically unharmed, where I'd have to have a stupid bandage on for a few days while the cure materia did its' work.

Seeing the look in his eyes, I corrected myself; Cloud wasn't going to leave unharmed. At least I could be fixed, and, from how scared he was, how he seemed to have forgotten all the fighting… the look on his face, the fluid fighting, that _wasn't Cloud. _It screamed _wrong_, I'd noticed that right from the start.

He was scared of what he was becoming.

And, in that instant, I just knew.

It was the experiment.

After all, what else could it have been?

I led him away from there, finally called ShinRa; in the end, thanks to Cloud, we hadn't needed the help. He just kept apologising, for something he didn't even remember; in a way, it was upsetting me, seeing him so distraught. I didn't show it, of course- just kept trying to cheer him up, cracking jokes and singing daft songs until he finally cracked a smile and joined in, like he usually did, the Robin to my Batman.

Though I wouldn't be caught dead in tights.

[ Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and favourites and story tracks and stuff once again, I suck at replying to things and I seriously have some kind of ridiculous comment phobia… just like my smiley face addiction which I luckily don't use much in my writing. You better hope Cloud and Zack never text or IM or whatever because I will slip into "xD" mode and won't come out. :D Anyway, I will definitely not be letting this hang for another month again, and the updates will be hopefully a lot more frequent over my winter break. If and when life takes over next time, I might post a little update if I can, like a super short chapter… I'm not sure. This is probably the only chapter which doesn't end on a cliffhanger or in the middle of a situation, so it's quite fun knowing I can take the story literally anywhere before the plot kicks in properly. Expect at least three, hopefully more, updates over the Christmas season, and maybe even a little clack Christmas one shot or something. 3 ]


	12. Chapter XII: Drunken Truth

I could take a hint.

So, when I noticed Cloud's sudden need to leave any room I entered at work, to not be in whenever I paid him a visit, to answer his phone, give me enough time to say a simple "hey", and suddenly hang up; and, for a few hours while I tried calling back, to switch off his phone entirely, I eventually got the message.

It was blatantly obvious that the kid was avoiding me, but I had no idea why. It was clear that _something_ had happened between us at some point that he'd gone into a major huff over, but I couldn't think of anything. I also knew for sure that it was personal, because I'd seen him chatting away happily with the various other 3rd classes he had taken to hanging out with. Until he spotted me, he seemed completely at ease, happy as anything.

But it was ruined, every time, when I either tried to go over to him or he spotted me; whichever came first, Cloud always made a somewhat overly hasty getaway, one time leaving his entire uneaten lunch on the canteen bench, hissing a quick goodbye to his friends, and then running from the room like hell was following him, even though it was apparent to everyone I asked that I'd already seen him. Or the time when he attempted to hide behind a pot plant half his height. I couldn't make my mind up at the time whether it was annoying or cute how desperately he was avoiding me- the only thing that really mattered was that I didn't know why.

After two weeks of playing cat and mouse, trying to catch him out enough to have an ordinary conversation, to find out what I'd managed to do that had him avoiding me like the plague, I finally had my chance.

When I walked in the room for my mission brief, I was more than thrilled to see Cloud among the crowd of Thirds, uncomfortable in the crowded huddle the younger SOLDIERs had formed. He could have slipped out of the crowd and walked over to me, quite easily, but I was offended that even his claustrophobia was overruled by his desire to keep away from me…

Lazard motioned to the man standing behind me as I entered the room, and as he leant across and pulled the door closed, I couldn't help but do a double take. The text message I'd received had been an automatic one, sent out to all the Thirds and Seconds, asking for anyone in the building to head for the briefing room.

And, if that was the case, what the hell was 1st Class Rhapsodos doing standing behind me? It wasn't as if the entire of SOLDIER wouldn't know within seconds when somebody was demoted; rumours flew so fast, spread so easily it was ridiculous. Even top-secret information was never trusted to anyone below 1st Class because it would be like telling the whole company.

"Right. Everyone, quiet. This is serious business," Lazard said firmly, his words and a glare from Genesis enough to silence the whole room.

"It's about AVALANCHE," he continued, pausing as a whole range of reactions spread through the group- excitement, horror, anger…

I just stared at him, blankly.

"Uh, what's an "avalanche"?" I asked, grinning nervously as Genesis' hand met his face with an audible _smack_, and Lazard sighed, closing his eyes briefly before looking up at me from his seat, exasperated.

"I take it you never read the AVALANCHE reports?"

I shook my head, messing up the back of my hair as I stared at him, still as confused as ever.

I should have known not reading the reports I was constantly sent would bite me on the ass sometime. Usually, Cloud read them, gave me a brief summary of what they wanted me to know, and nobody was any the wiser. I wasn't being dumb, Cloud was just a much faster reader than I was, and to top it off had a much longer attention span. No _way_ could I drag through one of those million-page reports without getting bored and going off to do something else!

But, obviously, since Cloud and I hadn't spoken or seen each other for weeks… I hadn't gotten any kind of info about the reports, and had clearly missed something really important.

"Eh heh… Guess I missed that one," I made my limp excuse, and Lazard struggled not to smile at the useless expression on my face.

"You've had nine reports about AVALANCHE, Zack. In the last week alone."

"Well, crap."

Lazard swivelled his chair, turning away from me a little, ready to address the room, papers in hand.

"First of all, I'm sorry to have dragged you all here at such an early hour in the morning, especially since this only concerns a select few of you. But, I'm afraid that the data I needed for this mission didn't arrive until moments ago- far too late to turn you all away.

We know where AVALANCHE are meeting, or at least one of the places they're meeting, I suppose. Every Friday night, they meet at a bar quite close to here- setting themselves up in the back rooms…"

As Lazard spoke, Kunsel stepped out of the throng of soldiers, grabbing my upper arm, and leant in, explaining in an undertone that AVALANCHE were an Anti-ShinRa group, who were reportedly extremists and very violent, only just starting to speak up and lash out, meaning they were most likely new.

"Ohhhh," I sighed, thanking him under my breath before Genesis shot us a sharp glance and we both turned back to Lazard, just in time to catch the sentence that had most of the room groaning, all annoyed or irritated, grumbling about "a waste of time"...

"Only three SOLDIERS are being sent today, and they're the only ones in the company, I believe, that are regular visitors to the bar in question; 1st Class, Genesis Rhapsodos, 3rd Class, Cloud Strife, and-" he paused, and let out a small, regretful groan, before continuing; "…2nd Class… Zack Fair."

Looked like my luck was on the turn- after weeks of Cloud avoiding me, he was being forced to go on an important mission with me, important enough for most of the soldiers to be called in. Important enough for him to be unable to refuse- not without ruining his reputation forever.

But, one thing was off. I knew for a fact that the only bar I'd been anywhere near for quite a while had been Seventh Heaven, and, sure enough, I'd seen Genesis downing horrible coloured spirits in there the majority of the time. Cloud, however? As far as I knew, his only visit had been with me, on his birthday. And, knowing Cloud, he'd have steered clear of the place since.

Hey, like I knew- I'd given up drinking when Cloud started avoiding me. Hadn't touched a drop of the stuff since… well, okay, I'd had a swig at Kunsel's whiskey flask the day before. But I hadn't drunk a whole glass or a shot of anything!

"I wasn't aware of… Strife being a regular at Seventh Heaven," I announced, fumbling over the name because of the sheer look of revulsion the blond boy had just shot in my direction.

"Really? Our intel suggests otherwise, Zack; Cloud is quite the regular. Every other night, he's at the bar, and for quite a while each time, too," Lazard replied smoothly, prompting a tiny nod from Cloud.

"Why me?" came a low drawl from behind me.

Lazard looked past me, surprised, at Genesis.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, you said in the last report; the group has intel on all the 1st Classes. Why not send another lesser class in my place, and reduce the risk of discovery?"

The director smiled, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he stood, pushing himself right back from the desk.

"Why, you're our best actor, of course."

"I take it by that you mean best liar," Genesis smirked in reply.

Lazard sent him a warm smile, then glanced at first Cloud, standing somewhat awkwardly on his own as the other soldiers slowly trailed out of them room, then me, the smile fading just a touch.

"You're leaving tonight, nine pm sharp. I'll arrange for some more subtle transport to get you all there together. You're all dismissed until then."

"Sir!" Cloud gave a tiny little smile, a twitch of his lips, to the director, and then went to leave the room. As he went past, brushing against my arm, I caught the front of his uniform, swivelled him back around to face me, as I stepped out of the door myself so we didn't have Genesis and Lazard for an audience.

"C'mon man, seriously, what's your _problem_?!" I snapped, tightening my grip on his shirt as he tried to struggle free, surprised to find it was really hard to stop him breaking away- I'd play-fought with him so many times, and never even had to try, even though he was always giving it his all. But he was nearly breaking my hold on him, and I really _was_ trying.

"Cissnei says you're dumped," he hissed, glaring but still not looking me in the eye properly.

"Wait, what?" I loosened my grip just a little, stunned, and that was enough for him to tear free, shoving me away and stalking down the corridor, without a glance back. There was a low whistle behind me, and I turned to find Genesis leaning against the open door, smirking at the look on my face and Cloud's hasty retreat.

"A little too touchy, perhaps? I highly doubt you're as innocent as you appear, Fair," he drawled, then strolled past me, smirk widening when I struggled for a retort, but couldn't come out with anything substantial.

A long, tricky mission walking right into the enemy's hideout, along with a boy who hated my guts and a man who took pleasure out of mocking me.

This was going to be fun. Not.

"My friend, do you fly away now? To a world that abhors you and I?"

I clunked my head against the window of the cab, fingers knotted into tight fists in my lap. For the entire ten minute car journey and the half hour wait for it to turn up, Genesis had been reading his stupid poetry crap. But he couldn't keep it to himself, oh no- we were subjected to his constant drivel as well. He barely even paused for breath.

We were both squished up in the tiny backseat together- although Genesis seemed perfectly comfortable, sitting there calmly reciting LOVELESS as I grumbled under my breath, squashed into a jumble of too-long limbs. Cloud had taken shotgun, reminding me with a glare that he suffered from motion sickness, and I didn't feel like starting an argument.

He hadn't been sick once. He wasn't even pale.

And I was stuck with Genesis and flipping LOVELESS on endless repeat.

"All that awaits you is a sombre morrow- no matter where the winds may blow… My friend, your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the-"

Wordlessly, I reached over the tiny space and tugged the book from his grasp, pressing the button on the car door to open the window. Genesis lunged forwards,

"Don't you even think about-"

I tossed it backwards, out of the window, and the brunet glowered at me for a moment, before he attacked me.

The cab swerved madly as the driver turned to yell at us, dipping in and out of the lanes on the road as we both tried to defend ourselves by arguing back. Not soon after, Cloud joined in, shouting and yelping and trying to grab the wheel, the distracted driver cursing as we careered off, smashing sideways into the barrier at the side of the road.

Broken glass sprayed out over the driver's side of the car- Genesis avoiding most of it due to the fact he was still attempting to possibly remove one of my arms. We all froze where we were, the silence filling the now half-wrecked cab, until the driver exploded, screaming and ranting.

Needless to say, we walked the rest of the way- the torture only intensified by the fact that, once we clambered our way out of the car, Genesis produced an identical copy of LOVELESS to the one I'd disposed of back in the cab, and starting reciting it even louder than before. After a minute or two rushing to catch up, I managed to fall into step with Cloud, who I knew was getting distinctly more and more uncomfortable the longer I stared at him.

"…What?" he managed to ask in the end, defensively wrapping his arms around his waist.

"What did I do? That makes you so mad at me?"

He stayed silent, eyes fixed on the road ahead of us.

"Come ON, man, this isn't funny!" I snapped, and he finally, for the first time in weeks, looked me in the eye.

"You got drunk after our last mission," he said, softer than I'd expected, "Just like on my birthday. And you kissed me and tried to convince me to-" he broke off, cheeks starting to burn.

I'd _kissed_ him?!

Half in a daze, I asked him to finish the sentence, prompting numbly as I grappled with the idea that I'd managed to kiss my best friend. And that it was probably his first one. Unless he had some secret girlfriend I knew nothing about.

Poor Cloud.

"…You tried to convince me you were madly in love and… you asked… i-if…"

"If what?"

"...I'd take it to fourth base," he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and trying desperately to hide his face.

I just stared at him, stunned.

"But you were drunk. Didn't mean anything. And I couldn't believe you seemed to have forgotten everything…. I got really pissed off and I was a jerk to you and I'm sorry," he babbled, by then, the words he'd been trying to say for weeks tumbling out all together.

"Excuse me, YOU were a jerk?! Dude…"

I sighed, punched his arm jokingly, and then, laughing at his annoyed squawk, messed up his hair, "I didn't know. Still… friends?"

"Yeah… Friends. You stupid lump."

He smiled, and ducked under my hand, his foot shooting out to trip me over. I yelped and crashed to the pavement, lying there stunned as Cloud burst out laughing, reaching to help me back up again.

"What was that for?!"

"For when you were drunk, of course," he smirked, then turned, expression turning nervous and shy as he came face to face with Genesis, when he finally caught up. Finally acting like himself again.

(Sorry I took so frigging long to update- the only excuse I have is that my writer's block reached an all time high and my Christmas was totally family-filled and I never DID have the time for those super-fast updates I promised. This chapter gave me hell and I don't know why… I might actually move the plot on a little bit soon. xD Lots and lots of familiar faces in the next update, trust me- or at least I hope so.)


	13. Chapter XIII: Reflection

"Who the hell are _you_?"

When I pushed my way through the stocks at the back of the bar, and literally fell right into Avalanche's clutches, I didn't even have time to catch my breath before I was hoisted to my feet from behind, presumably by more than one person as I knew I was kinda heavy, and there seemed to be a hushed argument going on between them as they restrained my arms, even though I was trying not to struggle.

The question came from the man in the center of the little group, a big, burly black guy who, ignoring the protests from a few of the other members, stormed right up to me, and, at first, pointed his fist at my face. I blinked, confused- until I realised the arm angled at me wasn't human, it was machine- until it, with a lot of clicking and moving parts, it turned into a gun, and he pushed it right at my face.

"W-wait just a-" I protested, but he didn't let up.

"I SAID… tell me who ya are!" he roared, and I heard, with a heavy clunk, what I guessed was the safety coming off.

"Zack!" I blurted out dumbly. "Zack Ffff… Lockhart."

AVALANCHE may have only had access to the data for the 1st Class SOLDIERS, but I still wasn't taking any chances. My mom's name felt unnatural, and felt awkwardly from my mouth. I wondered if they'd think I was lying. After my dad's death, I'd refused point blank to change my last name- even though both Tifa and mom had given up being called "Fair" after only a few months.

"Never heard of ya."

I opened my mouth to respond, with what I didn't know, but I thought that, if I kept him talking, it might give Cloud and Genesis the time they needed to get their asses in gear and follow me. Before I could, though, the door swung open, and as the big guy turned, the gunpoint lowered from my face.

"Barrett, what the hell are you doing?"

The voice carrying over from the doorway was familiar, feminine; struggling to turn while I was in the grip of the other men, I could only catch heeled boots, dark hair, right at the edge of my peripheral vision. The newcomer slammed the door hard behind her, the heels stomping across the dusty floor towards us. She moved in front of me, and with a bit of fighting against one of my captor's hands tugging at my hair, I followed the heels up, seeing slim legs and hips, quite a hot body, that long dark hair…

She glanced at me, lips pressed together in an aggravated pout, and I realised that I was attempting to check out my own sister.

"_Tifa?_! What the hell are you doing in AVALANCHE?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she argued, glare icy. I swallowed, hard- she looked just about ready to slaughter me there and then.

"You know each other?" one of my captors squeaked. I couldn't blame him for wanting to shrink away; Tifa was past pissed.

"_Zack _is my older brother," Tifa explained through her teeth, making it sound like _brother_ was a cuss word, the way she practically snarled it at us. The hands gripping me suddenly let go, apologies flying from the mouths of the two men behind me as Tifa stepped forwards, dragging me to my feet by the shoulder of my shirt. "And he should _not_ have come here! Why are you here?" She turned on me, smacking out at my chest with the back of her hand.

"'Cause you guys hold an awesome party," I replied, a smirk creeping onto my face despite her glare.

"How did you even know there were people back here?"

I pointed at the black mammoth Tifa had called Barrett, shrugging my shoulders. "Would help if he knew how to keep quiet. Yelling his head off, especially after I came in."

She raised her eyebrows. "Why am I not surprised, Barrett?"

The look on Barrett's face was so priceless; I just had to snort- until that look changed rapidly to fury, fully directed at me. Eyes on the gun arm, I edged behind Tifa. Obviously, going for the casual civilian approach, I didn't have a weapon, and felt pretty outmatched by his freakin' _machine gun. _

The only thing that broke the tension was a tiny little noise, the sound of someone clearing their throat quietly from across the room. Looking incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, Cloud stood in the open doorway, one hand gripping the doorframe so hard I wondered if he was using it to keep himself standing; he looked set to faint, though that probably had something to do with Barrett's gun being aimed at his face. Despite the distance, Cloud still looked terrified, like a little blond rabbit caught in headlights. I suppose having an entire room of your enemies staring you down wasn't a situation he would have chosen, had he known…

But before Cloud could lose his bottle, or Barrett could even open his mouth, Genesis swept into the room, clapping a hand down on Cloud's shoulder as he passed him at the door. He launched into verse the second he was over the threshold, a drivel that only seemed familiar to me because it was the same junk he'd been reciting in the cab- and on the walk- the whole way there.

He had most of the room staring at him in utter bewilderment because, not only was he drawling that LOVELESS crap right from memory, but his sense of the word "casual" was seriously screwed up. While Cloud was in a hoodie and black combats, and I had just grabbed the clothes from my bedroom floor that were furthest away from the washing basket, Genesis was sporting his usual pink coat, but had swapped the SOLDIER uniform underneath for enough glitter and spangles to drown a fairy. Presumably, this was supposed to enhance his performance, but it was painful to watch.

"Zack? Friend of yours?" Tifa asked, turning away from Genesis, hands on her hips.

"…I guess you could say that…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cloud edging backwards, towards the bar again- he wasn't expecting Genesis' performance to end well, I could tell. I was about to go over and attempt to patch things up by introducing Cloud to everyone, since the stunned looks were changing into annoyed ones and Tifa already knew who Cloud was and could hopefully back me up. But, before I moved, a slim brunette with her hair tied back in a long plait beat me to it. She had been near the back while Barrett had been confronting me, and hadn't said anything so far, but from Cloud's expression she didn't seem to be giving him a hard time at all. In fact, after a few mumbled responses- well, I presumed they were, since I couldn't hear them over Genesis- Cloud seemed to laugh, blushing and looking down at his feet.

Genesis finally paused for emphasis, giving Barrett just enough time to interject with a bellow of "shut up!". Thankfully, he didn't carry on, but when things finally became quiet, the girl talking to Cloud turned around, smiling at everyone as she pulled him towards us by the hand.

"Everyone just needs to calm down, okay? Cloud was just explaining, and they don't mean us any harm," she said softly.

And, to my surprise, they did. A few minutes later, Genesis and I were sitting in a group with the members barring the brunette girl- who, it turned out, was called Aerith- who was across the room with Cloud. Glancing over at them every once in a while, it seemed there was a lot of blushing and giggling going on- strangely, I didn't really feel comfortable with it. I mean, I had been waiting for years, since I'd met him, for Cloud to finally get talking to a girl properly, but here, right now? It just didn't feel right. Who knows, it was probably just because of the whole AVALANCHE situation that I didn't like him looking so cutesy with her. That had to be it.

Genesis was recognised as a 1st Class after about ten minutes, when one of the guys dug out some old files they'd gathered on ShinRa. He managed to brush it off, and no one even bothered to ask if I'd known he was with SOLDIER.

"It's not as if I'm the first high class member to desert, is it?" he pointed out, and my thoughts flew to my old mentor instantly, knowing he was the man Genesis was referring to. Angeal had taught me everything I knew back when I was 3rd Class, helped me train and better myself until I was finally promoted. He had sworn he would guide me right up to 1st, but one day he was sent off on a mission, and never came back. After a few weeks, they located him, and announced he had deserted the company and would have to be brought back no matter what the cost. I was sent along with them, in case I might be able to persuade him to come back.

I didn't even get a chance to speak to him. When I finally found him, the squad of cadets caught up to me, and I was dragged down to the ground, not knowing what the hell was going on until I heard the gunfire. I remember just being numb as they took me back to ShinRa, and only registering the pain and loss the next day, when it was announced they had _attempted_ to bring Angeal around but he had shot _himself_. Even months later, his name was still taboo, and most didn't believe the cover story. Even though it was the one black mark on the company's record, it was never mentioned.

But I knew. I didn't have to talk about it to hate them for it. They hadn't just killed Angeal, either- his mother was already dead when I'd arrived. Someone had sniped her through one of the windows. It only made it worse when I got home afterwards to just catch mom leaving. I talked her into staying the night, never admitting to her or Tifa why I was so upset.

Genesis' comment was met with a lot of raised eyebrows and glances through the group, but no one challenged him about it and they carried on discussing plans. Not really listening, I jumped when a hand touched my arm, and met Tifa's concerned gaze.

"Zack, you look like you're about to be sick," she said.

Barrett grumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like "Freakin' pansy".

"I know the sewers and slums seem gross, Zack, but really, going all pale about it is kind of wimpy."

"I'm not feeling sick," I insisted, shoving backwards and standing up. "I just… I just haven't eaten and I need the bathroom."

I all but ran out the room, head down, catching Cloud call out my name, confused, but not stopping. Pushing into the brightly-lit restroom, I headed straight for one of the sinks, putting the taps on full and splashing water into my face. It was freezing, but at least it seemed to be refreshing. Glancing up at my reflection, running my hands through my hair with a groan, I caught sight of a figure standing right behind me, and just about had a heart attack.

"Zack, you alright?" Cloud asked, nervously heading towards me. Even though I didn't turn around, I could see him fine in the mirror.

"Just needed some air," I replied, trying to sound casual even though the room seemed to be spinning at the edges of my vision.

"You seem kinda spacey today-"

"Yeah, that's rich, coming from you," I scoffed.

The Cloud in the mirror stopped looking quite so worried, and, smiling, put an arm around my shoulders. "Let me know if I can help, though, okay?"

I paused for a moment, considering asking what I really wanted to know- what the hell had happened to him, back on that mission where he'd saved me? What _was_ the stupid experiment for, and what had it done to him- and what if he changed too much, permanently…? What if he wasn't Cloud anymore once it was all done?

But he was having such a good time with Aerith. I didn't want to kill his buzz, and giving him the Spanish inquisition would seriously mess up his evening.

So I just grinned at him and shook my head.

"You go back, I'll be there in a minute," I assured him, continuing to smile until he had left, then letting it drop and splashing more ice water into my face in the hopes somehow it could clear my mind. Why was I so het up all of a sudden?

(You can't believe just how sorry I am at how long this update has taken. I can't apologise enough- thank you SO much if you're still with me.

Writer's block attacked for most of this chapter- blame Barrett, because as you can probably tell I can't write him at all- and then my parents and school completely screwed up my free time... and then my laptop screen broke so I was unable to work on anything editing or writing related. Forgive meeeeeeeee!)


	14. Chapter XIV: Distant

Weaving through the crowd in the packed hallway, I tried to ignore the pushes and bumps and just elbow my way through, gaze fixed on the back of a certain blond. It hit me, even as I was struggling to keep up against the wave of people; some of whom said a simple hey or tried to start a conversation as I passed by. I'd done this a lot of times, in public places, as opposed to inside the ShinRa building- not that I was completely exempt from chatting up the girls on the desks, or, of course, Cissnei, while there- running after someone through the crowd, usually wanting their number. Well, I was a _guy_, after all- of course I should have been allowed to ask girls out when I felt like it. It was a familiar scene, following someone like this, but-

As I finally got close enough, I leaped forwards, throwing my arms around his neck. Cloud yelped, probably thinking it was an attack, but when my hand ruffled at his hair and I laughed, he relaxed, shaking his head softly.

"You know, someday, you're gonna give me a heart attack."

Scoffing, I dropped the hand from his hair, still keeping an arm locked across his shoulders. "You're such a drama queen."

He started to splutter, denying it, but I just grinned, letting him fall more into step with me as we strolled through the hallway. Part of me was just glad that he seemed to be in a good mood- since the time he'd gone off in a huff with me, he'd been constantly swinging between laughing along and liking my company, to being barely able to tolerate me. He hadn't blown up and yelled at me just yet, but whenever he was having one of his bad days, he seemed constantly about to snap and explode. When he was like that, it set _me_ on edge, too- I just couldn't help it; I, for some reason, didn't want him to be mad at me. And because of that, I tried to make the most of it when he seemed to be happy with me around, taking him off to hang out whenever he didn't seem ready to rip my throat out. Well, actually, no- there was one other exception. One reason why, on some nights, even when he was looking bright and cheerful and didn't seem like he could ever hate me, he bailed on me. Aerith. I'd seen it coming, of course I had- I wasn't dumb, no matter what most of SOLDIER wanted to think. If there was one thing I got, it was relationships- and I could see the way Aerith looked at Cloud back at the stupid AVALANCHE gathering, how shy he'd gotten around her. Stopping it happening would have made me look like a complete dick, especially since…

They seemed happy together. Cloud was taking her out on dates about every once a week now, and, as much as he offered to double up, saying I could bring a girl, too, I didn't want to. Sure, Aerith was sweet, and pretty, but… but she was a part of AVALANCHE, wasn't she? That must have been why. I was wary of her getting close to Cloud because of that. Because he might get hurt. He did his best to persuade me that she was far from violent, that she wasn't a fighter, that she was really peaceful and lovely and sensitive and caring and…

Vomit inducing.

Okay, sure, maybe I was being a little harsh about her, but I was right to have my defence up! It was just the same, with all the other members of that stupid rebel group. I mean, had I told Tifa I was in SOLDIER? Of course I hadn't. Although I hadn't planned on doing that anyway.

I knew it was coming, from the sheepish way he looked at me- like he thought he was gonna get in trouble, that I'd get mad and storm off. It happened, every time- the second he gave me that damn look, I knew it was an _Aerith_ night again.

"Zack…" he started, and I sighed, pushing down the twinge in my gut at the thought of it happening again. I knew I wasn't _jealous_- why would I be? It just… didn't feel right.

"I'm… kind of… going out with Aerith again tonight. I know I said we could go for a drink, and everything, but…"

He peeked back at me, half hiding behind his bangs, and I forced a smile. Hey, I should have been happy for him, I knew that- Cloud had never been with a girl before. I'd shacked up with plenty, so I couldn't really get picky about him dating someone. Even if he furiously flushed and denied whenever asked if he had a girlfriend, he was that shy about her. If she wasn't in AVALANCHE, it might have been cute. And I hated how he seemed to think it was some huge deal, that he was always treading carefully so he wouldn't upset me. Like hell I would get upset! It wasn't a problem, not at all- he could date who he liked, as far as I was concerned, so why did he have to be so worried about how I'd react all the time? It was so stupid!

"That's alright," I lied, hoping the cheer in my voice didn't sound totally fake. "We can hang out for now, right?"

Cloud shook his head, looking more guilty than ever. "I've got a mission until later with a few of the others. Sorry."

Heaving a sigh, I tightened my grip, momentarily squishing him against me, and then let go. "Well, have fun, then."

Nodding, he quickened his pace a little- he was already in his uniform, I realised, wanting to slap myself for not noticing sooner and taking the hint. We could always hang out some other time. I didn't know why it had to be such a big deal for both of us, really- I mean, I had missions all the time, right? And now so did Cloud. It just seemed that often, our missions didn't clash- usually, they seemed to be timed so that the moment one of us was free, the other was on a job somewhere. It was annoying, and took some getting used to- 3rd Classes normally weren't given that many missions. Still, at least I knew that his scruffy blond ass was safe- since that first solo mission, Cloud had been doing well, passing all the tasks they gave him, even if he often changed the subject awkwardly whenever anyone congratulated him on his success rate. We didn't really talk about missions much, anyway- it seemed boring, and the conversation fell apart really fast since Cloud often just fell silent, adding shrugs here and there, whenever I tried. Although I didn't get why he was so against talking about it, I didn't bother to call him out on it- that was sure to put him in a bad mood.

Before I could say bye, or anything, I looked up and saw that Cloud was already gone. He'd rushed off, while I'd been dawdling amongst the crowd of ShinRa employees- who had already closed around the path he'd taken to escape. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I started to head towards the elevator, in the hopes I could get out of the crush of people and go and grab some lunch. It was my day off, after all- I'd already finished four missions that week, and there were none worth doing today. I'd only really hung around the building in the first place for something to do; Tifa was out again, like she always was nowadays; presumably with Barrett and the others, thinking of ways to take down the guys on top. And, with her gone, I couldn't hang around at home like an idiot- I hated being there by myself for too long. It always freaked me out, how empty the house was when no one else was there- maybe Tifa felt that way, too. I didn't know. I was out a lot, after all- maybe never being in the house now was her reaction to that.

But, before I could reach the elevator, a gloved hand grabbed my shoulder, tugging me sideways, nearly out of the hallway. Whipping around, I caught it by the wrist, twisting it hard, trying to get a good look at my assailant.

Except it wasn't one. Just Genesis, looking pretty pissed that I was trying to break his hand. Swallowing hard, I let go of him, taking a step back. I guessed it was a sign of respect, backing down like that- not that I felt much towards Genesis at all. He really didn't help himself; not many 2nd Classes that I knew were intimidated by his flamboyant attitude and obsession with poetry- he was more likely to read to you than scold you for anything. The 3rd Classes were terrified of him, but, then again, they were scared of all the 1sts. And, by extent, they were scared of most of the 2nd Classes, too, probably. The might have been SOLDIER, which in itself was an achievement, but here they were the lowest of the low- only better than the security, than the standard grunts. I'd never once met a cocky, arrogant 3rd who hadn't completely lost his nerve after a few weeks- even just training them, you could see the changes when they realised that they weren't as strong and clever as they'd first thought. Sometimes, it was funny; they might have even had the balls to answer back at first, but they son kept their heads down. Most of them had this kind of adorable awe when they looked at the higher classed SOLDIERS- I suppose I'd looked like that, too, before I got to 2nd and, thanks to Angeal, realised the 1st Classes weren't that different, and it was possible to get along with them just fine. And Genesis, out of the lot, gained the least respect from me- while I joked around and called Sephiroth "Seph", I was still always totally aware the entire time that he might be inches from slicing my head off. Sure, I'd seen Genesis get mad before- explode was probably the word for it- but he wasn't the perfect SOLDIER like Sephiroth; and neither was he mature and calm like Angeal. Basically, to me, he was just a cocky, arrogant redhead who enjoyed parading his strength and class in front of anyone he considered inferior. Unlike back at the bar, the last time I'd been face to face with him, he was back in his regular uniform under that sweeping pink coat- disappointingly, there wasn't a sparkle in sight; annoying, considering I'd been waiting to try and tease him about it.

He didn't speak, just throwing me a look of sheer contempt- eyes narrowed, lips pressed into a firm line. Crossing my arms, putting on the defensive act, I asked him outright what he wanted- it wasn't exactly a regular occurrence that I was stopped in the hallway by a 1st Class, especially not one with as gross an expression as the one currently slapped all over Genesis' face.

After a long pause, presumably for dramatic effect (I certainly didn't put tricks like that past him), he replied, "I was just watching you and Strife, is all."

"Good to know your eyes are still working."

His lips twitched in what I supposed was a fight against a smile. "I have a question for you, that's all."

"And what's that?"

"Are you gay?"

He said it curiously, expression refusing to betray any kind of sick joke- but, still, I laughed. A proper laugh, while shaking my head.

"Don't be stupid. I don't swing that way. I get through enough girls for you to know that!"

Genesis' expression didn't change for a long moment, while he seemed to just study me, like he was looking for some kind of slip up. Which was stupid, really- I was telling the truth. Then he smirked, a huge, wide, smug smile, patted me on the shoulder and sauntered off as though nothing had happened.

Bastard.

It had been a matter of hours when I wandered into town and bumped right into Cloud. Jumping on the defensive, I just accused him- jokily, of course- of lying to me to get out of hanging out together, but he only smiled, shaking his blonde spikes out of his eyes. A doubt twinged in the back of my head, just a tiny voice worrying maybe I was bordering on possessive, trying to fuss over where he was, what he was doing… but I shook it off. Jesus, he was my best friend. I was allowed to worry about the guy.

"I'm done," he replied, voice soft. "I'm done with the mission."

I scoffed. "You've been gone for all of three hours, buddy. I doubt-"

"I'm pretty fast."

Cloud said it without any hesitation, straight out. I nearly went and questioned him further about it, but just tried to let it drop- I guessed maybe I should trust him, at least.

"Buuuuuuut, you've got some huge hot date planned with Aerith tonight?"

Changing the subject, I slung an arm around his shoulders, steering him into turning around back the way I'd come- further into the town's sprawl of streets, since I'd been just leaving. His face flamed red at the question, and he stammered and stumbled, struggling for a suitable comeback.

"…So?" He managed, sounding a little gruff. I snorted.

"Do you know _nothing_ about girls?" I said.

Cloud only flushed a deeper shade of red, his silence answer enough for me. So, practically marching him through the streets, I carried on.

"You're not gonna buy her anything? Soften her up a little?"

"Unlike you, Zack," he retorted, "I don't need to buy my way into a girl's pants."

"So you've already-?" I asked, unable to hold back a grin, teasing- at once, the colour blanched from his face, only to instantly return seconds later. For a brief few seconds, Cloud's voice wobbled between octaves as he struggled to keep it level- and still, all he managed was, after some babbled protesting I didn't really hear, a mortified "No!".

"Man, poor _Aerith_."

He neglected to respond to that, walking along in stubborn and completely mortified silence. Now, if there was one thing that bugged me, it was when things were quiet- okay, so there was still noise and bustle around us in the street, I didn't care; I still felt like it was awkward. So, naturally, I brought up the first thing that came to mind. And, sad to say, that was missions. Ugh, I know, it was pretty stupid that my mind flew to ShinRa, but, hey, it was a safe place to start a conversation with him- nothing too sticky or hard to think about.

"I'm doing fine," he muttered, barely looking at me. Maybe he was churned up in his thoughts; Cloud got distant sometimes, but I was used to being able to keep his attention, at least. And, what did I do? Talked, of course. Only thing I could think of to stop his daydreaming for a minute; never shutting up usually caught him in the end.

"So, I guess that means you don't need me to rescue you anymore, huh? Althoooough, I guess it sorta became the other way around—"

"Why are you bothering, Zack?" he asked suddenly, cutting me off. Before I could even scramble together what he'd just said into something I understood, he just carried on. "I mean, I'm nothing, I'm 3rd class, I'm _weak_. And you still try and hang around me. I just… don't get it."

I stared at him, uncomprehending, not having a clue how to follow what seemed to be a totally random train of thought.

"Is it pity, or something? 'Cause you don't have to feel sorry for me. I can look after myself. I'm not… not some kid who needs rescuing all the time. Not anymore. And I…"

Trailing off, he ducked out from under my arm, dodging back and away from me.

"I don't think you're any of those things- what's gotten into you? Has someone said something, Cloud? 'Cause if they have, they're lying to make you feel bad, okay? There's _nothing_ wrong with you!"

He didn't even seem to hear me, flicking wisps of blond hair out of his eyes, gaze determinately fixed on the ground. Now he was nearer my height, it was much harder for him to avoid looking me in the eye- and yet he still managed it.

"No one had to say anything."

"Oh, come _on, _you're never usually this gloomy! Just… hey, let's just head back to mine. I've probably got some beers lying around, and, trust me, you need it-"

"Just leave it, Zack," he sighed, speeding up his pace so that he was nearly leaving me behind in the street. With a hiss of his name, I tried to grab at his arm, but he whirled around, all of a sudden glaring at me.

"I'm not interested, alright?"

I could have sworn I caught a flicker of green in his eyes before he walked away- although, then again, that might have been just my head playing tricks- I mean, it wasn't like I wasn't completely frazzled after Cloud going all emo on me out of the blue.

(( Yeah, so, if you're still with me, thank you for bothering after all this time. I just… guh. Millions of things, including my own sheer laziness, have held up I&I- although hopefully this chapter being a little longer than the others might start to make up for it, just a little bit? I know, not much has really happened besides Cloud having an emo attack, but it WILL lead into more than him being a little bitchy, I promise. Things are meant to heat up a bit from this point onwards, at least, and I can swear that throughout the rest of the story, these guys will NOT have another fight like this over… pretty much nothing. Cloud's kinda got a lot going on upstairs right now, and hormones seem to be on the warpath… ANYWAY. I solemnly swear I will actually update this more often than, like, every six months- maybe… every two weeks, if I'm on a roll? A month between chapters, at the absolute most. So, yeah, if you're still around, thank you times a billion.))


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